101 Ways You Know You’re from Boston: If…

Thnx to Chasf for the electronic reminder of Friendly’s frappes, Major Mudd (my 15 minutes of fame), and Dale Dorman’s Creature Double Feature. Wicked pissa…

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  1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.
  2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you’re swearing at him for going too slow.
  3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke.
  4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid
  5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.
  6. You do not recognize the letter “R” as a part of the English language.
  7. Your social security number starts with a 0.
  8. You can actually find your way around Boston.
  9. You know what a “regular” coffee is.
  10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round.
  11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent.
  12. Springfield is located “way out west.”
  13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn’t flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
  14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Gloucester, and Haverhill.
  15. Anyone you don’t know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise.
  16. Paranoia sets in if you can’t see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
  17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy alcohol.
  18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski.
  19. You know there’s a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot.
  20. You order iced coffee in January
  21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere
  22. You love scorpion bowls.
  23. You know what they sell at a Packie.
  24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS.
  25. You know what First Night is.
  26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
  27. McLobster? McCrap!
  28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies.
  29. Sure there are 6 New England states, but Connecticut really doesn’t count.
  30. You intentionally give wrong directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself, “Ah, screw ‘em.”
  31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
  32. You’re sick of the Kennedy’s, but you vote for them anyway.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional
  34. The numbers ’78 and ’86 make you cringe.
  35. You’ve been to Goodtimes before
  36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (…and they DO).
  37. You have never been to “Cheers.”
  38. The words ‘WICKED’ and ‘GOOD’ go together.
  39. You’ve been to Fenway Park several times.
  40. You’ve gone to at least one party at U Mass.
  41. You own a “Yankees Suck” shirt or hat.
  42. You know what a Frappe is.
  43. You’ve been to Hempfest.
  44. You know who Frank Averuch is.
  45. ADVANCED: You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown
  46. You can complete the following: “Lynn, Lynn…”
  47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be friggin’ Snows.
  48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one.
  49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he’s right 25% of the time.
  50. You never go to “Cape Cod,” you go “down the Cape”.
  51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
  52. You know who Whitey Bulger is.
  53. You went to the Swan Boats, House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school
  54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams.
  55. You remember Major Mudd.
  56. You know what candlepin bowling is
  57. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
  58. You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is.
  59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around.  Speaking of which…
  60. You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town
  61. Calling Carrabba’s an “Italian” restaurant is sacrilege
  62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents’ attic.

63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
  64. The only time you’ve been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town.
  65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn’t really that much of a surprise.
  66. You call guys you’ve just met “Chief” or”Boss.”
  67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means there’s just 3 more shopping days until Christmas
  68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy
  69. You refer to Savin Hill as “Stab ‘n Kill.”
  70. You’ve never eaten at Durgin Park, but recommend it to tourists.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

71. You can’t look at the zip code 02134 without singing it.
  72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country.
  73. 11pm? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloon!
  74. 2am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly’s Roast Beef!
  75. 5am? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat
  76. You know that P-Town isn’t the name of a new rap group.
  77. People you don’t like are all “Bastids.”
  78. You took school or work off for the Patriots first Super Bowl Win Parade.
  79. You’ve called something “wicked pissa.”
  80 You’ll always get razzed for Dukakis.
  81. Saturday afternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman.
  82. Sunday mornings meant the Three Stooges on Channel 38
  83. You’ve slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
  84. No, you don’t trust the Gorton’s Fisherman.
  85. You know that Papa Gino’s usually has a jukebox.
  86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time
  87. Your town has at least 6 sub shops, and none of them are a Subway.
  88. You know at least three Tony’s, one Vinnie and a Frankie.
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting89. 20 degrees isn’t that bad as long as there’s no wind.
  90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden.
  91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice’s Restaurant.
  92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was Athah Feedlah.
  93. You know what the Combat Zone is.
  94. You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax.
  95. You’ve pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
  96. You’ve bragged about the money you’ve saved at The Christmas Tree Shop
  97. You’ve been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night.
  98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual.
  99. Hearing an old lady shout “Numbah 96 for Sioux City!” means it’s time for steak.
  100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayre
s, or Ann & Hope.
  101. You actually get these jokes and can think of even more.  

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Discuss

49 Comments . Leave a comment below.
  1. Besides the water bubblah...

    ...What's missing?

    • 14. prounciations for

      Leominster and Leicester.

      81. Dale "the doorman" Dorman

      Add-ons

      102. Matty in the Morning FM 107.9

      Massachusetts Governor Paul Celluci proclaimed that January 12th, 2001 shall be honored as "Matty in the Morning" Day with the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

      103. You have bumper-skied (especially blizzard of '78)

      104. You have your first Larry Bird and Bobby Orr shirts in your drawers regardless of the size you/they were when you bought them.

      105. You are certain that we, "ahn't really that libral heah" and Kansas is a real place in a movie.

  2. R

      6. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.

    This could double as a political reality...

    Sorry Peter P. 

    • You mean Peedah Pohkupine?

      That is an interesting parallel.  Our politics are deeply ingrained in our dialect--or perhaps it's vice verser.  :-)

  3. LOL!

    "72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country."

    That's the only explanation. :p

  4. 1. The Red Sox World Series win was simultaneously

    one of the greatest moments in your life aaanddd, one of the biggest let downs because you had a new void in your life that whining about The Curse used to fill.  ;P

    • True!! Although maybe trying to fill that void

      freed us up to reverse the 16 year Gubernatorial curse.  Maybe it all began at Fenway.  Who knows where it will end? 

  5. Numbah 99

    My aunt was that "old lady" for a number of years... back when the Hilltop was run by Frank Giuffrida.  Too bad it is now a shadow of its former self.  Thanks for the memory. (12:00 p.m. drunk?  Hilltop Steakhouse waiting for a table.)

     

  6. My trip down Memory Lane

    Baily's Ice Cream Downtown: we went there as kids after going to see 'The Nutcracker'. It was a real treat. I still dream about their hot fudge!

    The Rat and Narcissus: When Kenmore Sq. was a dump, 2 AM was often an interesting mix of big hair rockers and disco kings and queens from Narcissus, and punk rockers spilling out of the Rat. And on that note: Nemos and Pizza Pad for those 2 AM slices! What was that breakfast place called in Kenmore? I can't remember.

    The J. Geils Band!

    For Cantabridgians:

    The Tasty Nick's Beef & Beer The Ding Ho Inn Square Men's Bar Jack's The Wursthaus Discount Records The Orson Wells Theater

    • Steve's Homemade Ice Cream in Slumerville n/t

    • Do you remember

      when Grendels in Harvard Square had free appetizers during happy hour?  Back then, me and my friends would have a beer there every night just to get a free dinner.  I think we ruined it for everyone.

      • Grendels was actually doing that until a few years ago

        The last time I was there (2003?) there were free wings. My friends and I used to go have dinner on free apps also.

    • Aix for J Geils

      and also the Ding Ho

      Lenny Clark was always the least funniest comedian. And he's funny.

      eb3-fka-ernie-boch-iii   @   Tue 4 Dec 7:00 PM
      • And the Pizza Pad

        Kenmore Square Sucks now.

        eb3-fka-ernie-boch-iii   @   Tue 4 Dec 7:00 PM
        • It sure does

          Kenmore Sq. is unrecognizable from its former seedy self. It may as well be part of the Mall of America. Where the hell is Mr. Butch when you need him?

    • Deli Haus was the breakfast place I was thinking of

      and the Aegean was a greek diner in Kenmore.

    • Nick's Beef and Berr House

      (Sniff)

      Walk in with $10.  Have two giant pitchers of ice-cold Budweiser beer, one double cheesburger with a piece of lettuce and a slice of tomato, and a mountain of French fries.  Leave a 20% tip.  Have enough change left for the T.

      It was a miracle.

  7. You know the answer to the question:

    How many cookies did Andrew eat?

    • Don't you mean ANdrew?

      Somewhere between 8 and 8000, I'd say.  (confession: Google helped me out with this one!)

  8. # 4

    Or, at my age, you went to Nantasket Park or Whalom Park as a kid.

  9. Lori is My New God

    Why can't you guys write stuff like this?

    eb3-fka-ernie-boch-iii   @   Tue 4 Dec 7:00 PM
  10. Don't forget

    Dwayne Ingles Glasscock The Morning Mishigas (sp?)

  11. ...if you're not sure what a $quot;hand truck$quot; is,...

    ...but you know you need a two-wheeler to move that file cabinet.

  12. How about...

    Brigham's... with jimmies?

  13. 101 Ways You Know You're from Boston: If...

    You don't have a heart attack in Boston, you took a heart attack

    Has anyone mentioned Joe and Nemo's (speaking of which)

    Sully's means Castle Island and a dog and a walk for lunch (speaking of which)

    you know how to "walk the Sugar Bowl"

  14. Brudnoy.

  15. Also

    You wear dungaress, not jeans.

    Any building less than fifty years old is "new" -- like the new Hancock building.

    You think tri-cornered hats look ridiculous.

    You can't understand why anybody would not like fried clams.

    sabutai   @   Tue 4 Dec 7:00 PM
  16. You know $quot;so ahn't yous guys$quot;

    ..means "you guys are too." 

    Or if you know why the Lechmere stop is called that.

    Or if you've ever had had Moxie.

    Or if you remember when the red line was extended and before Davis was hip.

    Or if, in addition to having had jimmies, you've actually done research to figure out if the term is racist or not.  (Does anyone know???? I've just decided to assume yes...)

    • Lechmere

      I'd completely forgotten about them. I used to call the "Blechmere" and a friend of mine used to call them "Leachfield"

      They were one of the places you went to get stereo equipment, washers, dryers, etc... hard sell

      • J.M. Fields anyone?

        Too bad too that Filene's Basement has gone the way of nostagia along with shopping as a contact sport.

        • Filenes Basement. and Contact Sports

          Best training for rugby I ever had.  Mom brought us in to witness the brides dress sale once, just for fun!

    • Lechmere

      Actually, the Lechmere stop was NOT named after the store. It's the other way around.

      In Revolutionary times, that area of land was owned by the Lechmere family. It got the name Lechmere Point (before they filled everything in), and the T-stop and the store (the first one in the chain) took their name from Lechmere Point.

  17. Here are some from my high school days

    Here are some from my high school days:

    - You know who "The Turk" is. - You know who "The Chief" is. - You know that the Halfway house is on Nahant beach - You know what Hoompa is.

    - You used to listen to Roy Foxx on WRKO - Larry Glick Lemonade - Ask the Manager on TV 38

    - WLYN was Y-102 and played the best new music with Rich Anzelone - You remember Peter Choyce and Blowfish

    • Don't Forget Albert O

      he was on Y-102 also. WERS, WMBR and WZBC all played great cutting edge music back in the late '70s/early '80s. Oedipus from 'BCN got his start on WMBR (then WTBS).

      Those were the days!

  18. If you're a real oldie

    You remember Big Brother Bob Emory and Don Kent.

    • I remember Don Kent the weather guy

      he was old when I was little!

    • Oh, The Grass is Always Greener in the Other Fellow's Yaaaahhhd...

      ...That little row we have to hoe, Oh, Boy that's haaaahd! But if we all could wear green glasses Then it Wouldn't Be So Haaahd To see How Green The Grass Is In Our Owwwn Baaaaccck Yaaaaahhhhhhd!

      Big Brother Emory!  And his terrible houndstooth check!  Hadn't thought about him in almost fifty years!

  19. 101 Ways to know you're from Boston: add to #100 and delete #43

    A true retail maven would have mentioned RH Stearns and Kresge's.  A childhood dilemma would have been deciding which after-shopping treat to devour: Jordan Marsh's blueberry muffin or Bailey's hot fudge sundae.  And Bostonians never refer to Washington St as "Downtown Crossing.' 

    Lastly, #43 "Hempfest" entry -- ahhhh, get a clue, there is nothing inherently Bostonian about this event. Bostonians do not recognize the millions of transient college students as one of their own and events like Hempfest are their creation.  We could, however, institute an annual Fall event involving college students -- Smackdown -- when Bostonians have an opportunity to beat the crap out every spoiled, rude, obnoxious, self-focused, entitled student just for the fxck of it.  Now that's the true spirit of Boston.

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