“Daddy, what’s a ‘bag job’?”
“Well son, the term ‘bag job’ originally came from the practice of bribing someone, usually a judge or politician, by putting money in a bag and delivering it to that person, usually through an intermediary, known as a bagman.”
“Oh, so ‘bag jobs’ are bad?’
“Not necessarily son. The term has evolved to mean when someone uses influence to get the outcome they most likely would not have gotten without said influence.”
“Jesus Christ Dad, I’m nine years old. Don’t be such a dickweed. Talk to me in a language i can understand.”
“Oh son. You are the one.
“You know when cousin Joe got accepted to UCLA?”
“You mean the University of Chelsea at Logan Airport?”
“Yup. You see, him getting into that prestigious institution was a bag job because Uncle Larry pretty much paid for their new science building. We both know Joe is a complete moron.”
“Yeah dad, a real nebbish.”
“Or what about when your older brother was so drunk he drove off in a cab that was unattended at a cab stand. It was because your mother use to date a cop we were able to hush things up and get him into rehab. We took care of the cab driver too.”
“Yeah, good times Dad. Hey, I think Mom still dates that cop.”
“Up yours son. But anyway. Those are acceptable bag jobs.
“But the bad ones still happen. Let me give you a hypothetical.
“Suppose circumstances presented themselves that a casino should be built here in River City. To do it, the Selectmen would first have to approve it and then put it to a vote before the town.
” Now the people who will gain the most, the casino operators and their suppliers, have been doing this for many years. They have built casinos all over the country. Although 99.9999999….% are honest, somewhere in the underbellies are people who don’t mind using the bad type of bag jobs to further their business interest. So they may, in their own unique and experience ways, find out if there are any town officials who may be willing to ‘play ball’. The more local the level the more likely there will be opportunities. Many times they are shut out. But these guys are pros and know how to fish.”
“Hey dad, we have some real gonifs at Town Hall”
“Yeah we do. And if we took a vote most people here would be against casinos. But say they got to one or two of the officials. Usually someone with some influence over a few others. It usually doesn’t take much and often times it borders on the not so bad kind of bag job. They can probably be bought cheap. But when it comes to an issue like this they should be like Caesar?s wife.
“You listening to me son?”
“Yeah, so what does it matter, can’t the town’s folk vote it down anyway?”
“Well here is where it gets tricky. First of all the cops will be in favor of this. Big Time. It means money and power for them. So they can act like good toadies without knowing it. They will attend the vote and bring in hundreds of other cops from around the area, like Sheriff’s Dept. These guys will also make mucho dinero if casino is built.
“Have the vote as soon as possible and make it difficult for those against the casino to attend. Have it outside in July, within days after the selectmen approve it. Don?t give opponents time to organize. Tell God to make it real hot and humid. If residents want to vote they have to commit a full day outside in the heat.
“Let the cops do their job. They won’t let you down. They will ring the area with cops and police dogs and mobile this and operations that. They will have the knucklehead steroid cops stand with their arms folded. All brawn no brains.
“The cops will clamp down on casino opponents for any rules violations but look the other way for all violations by casino proponents. They will make sure casino opponents feel intimated. This is money in their pocket you know?
“Of course only those with most to gain go and stay for the vote. These of course are mostly municipal union members and their families.
“Now, this is important, immediately after the vote sign the casino contracts. When I say immediately I mean within minutes of the vote.”
“But Dad, can this happen?”
“Well son, I expect the Secretary of State would monitor the vote. Perhaps the Attorney General would too. I’m not up on the town voting laws but if that happened I am sure a lawsuit would be brought by casino opponents. It may have a chance of making the town vote null and void.”
“Wow Dad, Mom’s boyfriend would be pissed if they did that.”
Discuss
7 Comments . Leave a comment below.Union Goon and why do they wear orange tee shirts? Who is this Prince of Darkness guy and is he going to do anything about the bag job and union goons?
The Connecticut people complain that the promised "well-paid union jobs" never materialized. Asians were brought in, barracked in houses ten to a room and hot bunked to do the work on a 24/7 basis. These people, many from rural areas, live under terrible conditions.
Then again, no union officials ever sold the working folks down the river.
Yeah...
The media, which stands to gain from the future advertising is loath to grumble, but how many people think Santa is coming to help them? The people that run these places are out to make money, not to help Joe Sixpack.
EB3 is a funny guy, but I don't think Yiddish was his mother tongue.
called an insignificant perfson with nothing to offer a nebbish. Surely not harvard material. or ucla either
but it sounded like the youngster meant something else.
anyone can talk about a "nebbish." But "gonif" -- that's a different level of Yiddish.
best account I've seen yet
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