I missed this when it first came out a couple of weeks ago. In case you did too, here’s public radio icon Garrison Keillor’s joy-filled Christmas column this year:
Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that’s their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite “Silent Night.” If you don’t believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn “Silent Night” and leave ours alone.
Oh, um, ha ha … great satire (I think) from Keillor, who is no doubt hilariously impersonating a curmudgeon fed up with the alleged “war on Christmas” … or something.
And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write “Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah”? No, we didn’t.
Christmas is a Christian holiday – if you’re not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don’t mess with the Messiah.
Wow. Er … ha ha ha? Good one, Garrison, I think … awesome satire? Maybe?
Here’s Jeff Jacoby’s take (which is where I first heard about Keillor’s column):
Remember when Keillor was endearing and witty? What a shame that he’s become so cranky and intolerant. What kind of grinch thinks “White Christmas” is “dreck”?
Well, here’s hoping that the music of those “Jewish guys” didn’t put too big a damper on Keillor’s Christmas this year. And let’s hope no one ruined it entirely by letting him know that the Jewish connection to Christmas didn’t start with Irving Berlin.
Maybe Jacoby missed the joke, if there was one. But honestly, I can’t tell from Keillor’s column whether the whole thing is completely satirical or what. If it’s supposed to be some sort of wry commentary poking fun at the Bill O’Reillys of the world, I have to say it’s pretty poorly done, since there really isn’t anything wry about it. If that’s not it, then something pretty awful has happened to Keillor. Either way, I’m not sure how enthusiastically I’ll tune into the next Prairie Home Companion.
christopher says
…that members of her congregation were a little put out by this.
david says
That’s why the column is a big fail. Even if he doesn’t mean it literally, it comes across as mean-spirited. He sounds genuinely offended about “Silent Night”; genuinely annoyed by the songs written by Jewish guys; and genuine when he says that Christmas is a Christians-only affair.
stephgm says
The Rev. Fred Small writes:
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p>Btw, having grown up in a small town somewhere in Nebraska, I suppose I should understand Garrison Keillor’s appeal, but I’ve never found him particularly interesting or funny.
neilsagan says
when it takes Jeff Jacoby to stand up to Garrison Keillor’s off key humor about Christmas, Christians and Jews.
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p>I guess this marks the official end of Christmas … well that and the 45F weather. At least we had a white Christmas.
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p>I hope Garrison Keillor doesn’t ruin New Years with an off key riff about Christians and Jews and Chinese food restaurants.
christopher says
It lasts until January 5th, technically! It’s a pet peeve of mine that Christmas just seems to stop and anybody with a tree still up by New Year’s is considered by some to be a procrastinator.
sabutai says
He calls Keillor “cranky and intolerant” and reminisces about when Keillor was funny.
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p>Jacoby quite correctly calls Keillor out this time around, and for good reason. Apparently Jews aren’t exactly welcome in Lake Wobegon.
massmarrier says
G.K. has been odd since his stroke. He’s less funny, grumpier and more self-indulgent.
somervilletom says
I don’t follow Garrison Keillor, I don’t listen to the show. I can’t therefore, speak to his humor or lack thereof.
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p>Personality changes often follow even mild strokes. My friends who provide geriatric and post-stroke care tell me that such changes often amount to exaggerating some aspects of a personality and weakening others.
lightiris says
homophobic, anti-science crank. He’s left a rather unbelievable legacy of insulting screeds around the internet for some time now, but his reputation as a folksy raconteur is beginning to show some wear. If you put Garrison Keillor’s name in the search box at Pharyngula, you’ll get all sorts of stuff, like this one.
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p>It’s hard to hide on the internetz, as people like Keillor are finding out.
mike-from-norwell says
a little more twisted backwoods humor than GK.
huh says
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p>Sheesh.
lightiris says
creationist musings. They’re pretty egregious, as well. He’s a conservative apologist of the first order: anti-gay, anti-science, anti-evolution, and anti-Obama.
mike-from-norwell says
give me a break. If this board has reached the point of going after GK as the new Jerry Falwell, you have reached the utter point of irrelevance. Life does exist after the Charles River I’m afraid.
lightiris says
And your ad hominems do nothing to defend Mr. Keillor, whose feelings on these subjects are well documented.
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p>Google is your friend, buddy. Instead of attacking us, why don’t you make sure you’re on solid ground–unless you, too, are an anti-semitic, anti-science crank.
mike-from-norwell says
I’ll admit: I’ve actually lived outside of this state. Actually, I’ve even lived (and was born) in the Midwest. If you are all going to go after Garrison Keiller (who is absolutely and utterly no friend of the GOP – talk to any Minnesotan friend you may or may not have) as a far right wing nut, good luck. You have absolutely no clue of what you are posting here. Perhaps your Google travels have pointed you to the same source as the ice cream store owner in Duxbury who accused me of being a racist by referencing chocolate sprinkles as “jimmies”. Just because you can find it on the Internet doesn’t mean it’s true.
lightiris says
I’ve lived outside of this state, too, so whatever cache you seem to think that fact affords you as well affords me.
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p>But I suppose based on the unassailable credentials you offer regarding your “jimmies” experience, I should no longer trust my own judgment given your expressed doubts. Indeed, I bet the writings of Mr. Keillor on science, penned under his name, were not actually written by him because you’ve lived in the Midwest.
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p>Your suggestion that I am gullible regarding the veracity, legitimacy, or authenticity of what I read on the internet is insulting. I could say the same to you, but since “I have no clue what [I] am posting here,” there’d be no point.
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p>I’m not invested in convincing you that Garrison Keillor is a jerk. I’m also not invested in addressing your urbane paternalism, so enjoy Prairie Home Companion. Life long and prosper.
huh says
My mother is (or was) friends with him. He’s an odd duck, but Mike from Norwell is correct that he’s a Democrat. Wikipedia has an apology of sorts:
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p>IMHO, PHC went to hell when Margaret Moos left the show and he left St. Paul.
lightiris says
I think that’s pretty clear; however, he is not all that progressive in some things–his attitude towards gays and atheists, specifically. His anti-atheist opinions bump up against an anti-science bigotry when it comes to Christian beliefs. I realize he has many good qualities and has political views that we all share, but he has attitudes that are not so cool. In science circles, he’s long been seen as problematic. To the extent that he doesn’t wave these beliefs like flags is a good thing for his career and reputation.
huh says
Even if the “Silent Night” column was meant to be satirical, it’s still in questionable taste. As part of a larger body of such work, it speaks really badly of GK.
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p>For the record, I’ve never liked Prairie Home Companion or Garrison. My mother used to disagree.
mike-from-norwell says
Lightiris I looked at your Pharyngula link in the light of day (and actually remembered I hope to type correctly, otherwise I’ll be thrashed around this board), but give me a break. Ever heard of humor? And I don’t exactly even know how to deal with this one:
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p>What in the heck does Garrison Keiller have to do with science (and why are scientists worried about Garrison Keiller – I worry about our scientists if he is viewed as a threat!).
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p>I sporadically listened to PHC over the years (he has had amazing acoustic acts on, from Chet Atkins to Leo Kottke, wrapped in rather droll Minnesotan humor), but come on. Think you’re a little sensitive: if you’re comparing GK to a bible thumpin’ baptist, think you might need to read between the lines a bit.
jconway says
Prairie Home Companion is not funny and is the worst show on NPR.
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p>Prairie Home Companion, where the jokes aren’t funny, the voices can’t sing, and the people are definitely below average.
lasthorseman says
Elephants, Room, Big Picture
Globalized economic crisis
Globalized engineered health destruction
An enviornmental scam that won’t fix the enviornment
An impending food crisis
mike-from-norwell says
and reading the open Christmas thread, think I get the bent of folks here on this board. Good luck next fall in the elections; you’re going to need it (and by the freakin’ way, why no posts about Flight 253 here – if this was GWB over the holidays instead of BHO, this place would be lit up like a Festivus Pole).
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p>And I’ll second GK: if you don’t believe fine, but you don’t have to tear the rest of us down who do. Think you might actually be more upset by the absolutely and utterly prescient observation about Larry Summers that he put in the column:
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p>Troubling that ol’ Larry is one of BHO’s key advisers, who completely forgot the ultimate Boston Brahman mantra: “whatever you do, don’t touch the principle”.
david says
First of all, Keillor’s column about Summers is not “prescient,” because to be “prescient” you have to accurately foretell something before it happens. Keillor is using good ol’ 20/20 hindsight on Summers, so no points there.
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p>Second, who the hell is “tearing down” people who believe? Just because someone who happened to be Jewish wrote “White Christmas”? Or because someone who isn’t a believer still likes to sing cheery songs and give their kids presents? Well, happy new year to you too, Mr. Grinch.
mike-from-norwell says
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…
david says
tony-p says
The “principle”, I mean. Best leave that to the prose.
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p>If this seams harsh to ewe, I apologize. Butt theirs a limit to my tolerance for sloppy righting. If your going to bash intellectualism, try not too brake the rules of spelling as you do sew.
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p>In a weigh, of coarse, its not exactly bad spelling two use “principle” when you mean “capitol”. The grate spell-checker that runs on your Pea-Sea can nought ketch that kind of mistake. You have to reign it in yourself.
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p>Good knight,
–TP
mike-from-norwell says
dont no hew wee kin funktion widout an editt butttin on this hear bored.
petr says
I’m a fan of Garrison Keillor and not just his radio show, but also his writings. It’s difficult to say I’m a ‘huge’ fan, or an ‘enthusiastic’ fan, because, well… one of the things I like most about him is his resolute and implacable diffidence: as he might say, “I’ll surely carpe the diem, but not without a nap…”. So it’s difficult to be excited over somebody who doesn’t care to be all that exciting.
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p>This is the only part of the piece with which I find an objection, and it’s an objection on theological grounds, no less… If you believe the Messiah is the Messiah, that he came here to be “messed with”, and that acceptance of being ‘messed with’ is the heart of Christianity then you’ll have to forgo the above sentiments… So I think the paragraph is a mistep in an otherwise quite serviceable piece. I think he might, temporarily (one hopes), simply have lost it. Had I been his editor, I’d have lopped that paragraph out and published the rest. I urge you to give the piece a second reading, skipping over that paragraph.
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p>The remainder of the piece is actually a fairly good, if somewhat cranky, explication on the perils of trying too damn hard worrying about things too damn small: twisting himself into and out of ontological knots at the least provocation was a favorite pastime for Emerson and is at the heart of the passive-aggressive atheism that is Unitarian Universalism. And, honestly, less effort could be made writing a whole new, and wholely more heartfelt, christmas carol, saying whatever is to be desired, than to hollow out ‘Silent Night’ in an attempt to glean the worst of both old traditions and new dialectics…
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p>And, I too think, as Keillor does, that Larry Summers would indeed make a most excellent janitor.