Not intended as a joke by the paper of Woodward and Bernstein, but absurdly hilarious nonetheless because of its idiocy:
“The top executive of Goldman Sachs testified before Congress today, which proves crooks always return to the scene of the crime.” -Jay Leno
“By the way, Sarah Palin, if you’re watching, how is that offshore drilling working out for ya?” -David Letterman
“Arizona is the meth lab of democracy.” -Jon Stewart on Arizona’s new immigration law
“This week Arizona signed the toughest illegal immigration law in the country, which would allow the police to demand identification papers from anyone they suspect is in the country illegally. I know there are some people in Arizona worried that Obama is acting like Hitler, but can we all agree that there’s nothing more Nazi than saying, `Show me your papers?’ There’s never been a WWII movie that didn’t include the line, ‘Show me your papers.’ It’s their catchphrase. Every time someone says ‘Show me your papers,’ Hitler’s family gets a residual check. So heads up Arizona, that’s fascism. I know, I know, it’s a dry fascism, but it’s still fascism.” -Seth Meyers, on Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update”
“Obama is getting his mojo back. Apparently, he’s going to get this financial package. That’s right, the financial package is going through. He got healthcare. He got that nuclear weapons treaty… He’s on a roll and he’s taunting his critics. His new slogan is, ‘Change You Can Suck On.'” -Bill Maher