As we all know, our esteemed and learned editor (and good sport) David can be forgetful during the Thanksgiving rush, and today is the last day to shop. So I suggest that we build his shopping list.
I’ll just start with the most obvious and important item: cranberry sauce. The canned kind, of course.
I like the kind with the ridges on the side. It’s baroque.
This is important because you want to head off any homemade stuff. It’s always the semi-unexpected guest from out of town who decides to be all New England-y and make some cranberry sauce. Then you’ll have to explain to frightened children that it’s not what it looks like, and try to encourage reluctant adults to “Just have a taste,” but no one will, so of course you’ll end up saying, “Well, more for me!” And then you watch in pain as a gorgeous, postmodern sculpture of yumminess in the middle of the table is
sliced chipped away until it vanishes.
So you want to avoid that. Say to any potential guest, “Well, anything you want to bring is fine, except cranberry sauce, I really loaded up on that.” Then make it true.
Please add any items you think David shouldn’t forget in the comments. Happy Thanksgiving!