And, in a genuflection to the 1 April holiday just past, a few great past moments from The Onion:
Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet: Young Gore sets out for his new home, where the sky is clear, the water is clean, and there are no Republicans.
EARTH-Former vice president Al Gore-who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save-launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.
“I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen,” said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. “They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn’t they heed me before it was too late?”
Al Gore-or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al-placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity’s hubristic folly.
“There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race,” Gore said. “I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home.”
Sasha Obama Keeps Seeing Creepy Bush Twins While Riding Tricycle Through White House
WASHINGTON-A little more than a month after the first family’s move to the White House, reports of strange happenings have continued to surface, with Sasha Obama confirming Tuesday that she had once again been visited by the eerie specter of the Bush twins.
Sasha, who was playing in the East Wing of the executive mansion so as not to disturb her busy father, reported seeing the former first twins while riding her Big Wheel tricycle down the Cross Hall corridor. The frightening apparitions, the 7-year-old said, emerged out of thin air and were dressed in identical outfits consisting of spaghetti strap tank tops and denim skirts.
christopher says
…even poking fun at his own lack of tact during hostile interviews. My favorite line was when he mentioned that Michele Bachmann was absent probably because she was in Iowa getting ready to run for President – “and that’s all I have for that joke!”
lightiris says
I wonder if Megyn Kelly was in the audience? Of course, not–she’s not actually a correspondent. He really makes them look like idiots on a consistent basis. “Great interview! Aces!”
damnthetorpedos says
Classic quips, along with that tea-bag cartoon…perfect!
laurence-glavin says
It was totally fortuitous, but Saturday night (04/02), I tuned to C-Span the Mother Ship, and Rand Paul was just STARTING his routine. Wow! I almost…I repeat ALMOST felt sorry for him. Every joke laid an egg, the audience sat there showing no sign that they found any part of his routine funny, or even moderately interesting. I hope this shows up on the internets somewhere as an example of how NOT to do political “comedy”.