Blue Mass Group

Friend of Royalty and lovable knucklehead Scott Brown’s hobnobbing with the pre-Revolutionary crowd carjacked the Funny Truck this week, but I’ve managed to locate a few runner-up items — all strictly positive, and bipartisan, as is BMG’s way. Enjoy!

Onion:

Is the Tea Party secretly building an underground army of loud men and overweight children?

(Couldn’t get it to embed: if anyone can, please do in the comments).

Daniel Kurtzman:

“Last night on the premiere of a new reality show, Bristol Palin confronted a man in a bar and demanded to know why he hates her mother. In response, John McCain said ‘Leave me alone, I’m having a drink.’” –Conan O’Brien

“Over the weekend President Obama issued an order that allows some illegal immigrants to stay in the country. Or as Fox News reported it, ‘Obama issues order allowing himself to stay in the country.’” –Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney said Obama is ignoring the real issues with illegals, which is that they keep blowing the grass clippings into his pool.” –Bill Maher

“This really was the campaign in a nutshell. Talk about two divergent messages. They were doing this on the same day in the same state. Obama said, ‘The Republicans drove the economy into the ditch and now I’m trying to drive it out.’ And Romney said, ‘Look, a black guy’s stealing our car!” –Bill Maher