PETRAEUS STARTED AFFAIR LAST YEAR TO COVER UP BENGHAZI, SAYS CONSPIRACY THEORIST
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The scandal involving former C.I.A. director David Petraeus took a startling twist today, as a leading right-wing conspiracy theorist claimed that Gen. Petraeus initiated his affair with author Paula Broadwell last year to avoid testifying about Benghazi this week.
“Petraeus is a master of strategy, capable of playing several chess moves ahead,” said Harland Dorrinson, who has a website. “Clearly, he knew it would be handy to be embroiled in an extra-marital affair if the situation in Benghazi someday went south and he was forced to testify about it.”
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