Remember Scott Brown? The last important thing he did was mysteriously tweet “Bqhatevwr” in the midst of a barrage of peculiar late-night tweets that were oddly devoid of punctuation, correct spelling, and other indicators of standard English. Brown of course deleted the tweets shortly after they became a Twitter-wide sensation, but, to refresh your recollection, here they are:
Anyway, Maria Stephanos recently conducted Brown’s first extended post-election interview, and she asked him about his late-night Twitter frenzy. Here’s what he had to say:
STEPHANOS: How about that tweeting thing?
BROWN: Anyone ever hear of a pocket tweet? Pocket dial? It was pretty simple, you know. I have an iPhone 5, actually, where is it – if anyone has an iPhone 5, OK? The keys are small. It’s very, very sensitive. Ayla was teaching me how to obviously get on Facebook and Twitter, and there were some areas I didn’t really understand. It was after her concert, and we were here right in the living room. And I responded to a couple of people, and then put it in my pocket. The next thing, I wake up, and I said…
STEPHANOS: It becomes a news story, Scott!
BROWN: It trended worldwide. Worldwide trending, on a pocket tweet.
STEPHANOS: So you’re saying it was just a mistake?
BROWN: Well, what else would it be? What, am I just randomly pressing numbers and throwing it out there? It just shows you, though, as a public figure, someone is waiting for – especially because I was considering running, so it was like, “oh, haven’t heard from him,” and now allegedly I’m drunk-tweeting. First of all, I rarely drink. The last time I was ever drunk was at my bachelor party. That was, what, 28 years ago? 27 years ago? So, I guess no one has ever pocket dialed or pocket tweeted before.
Now, with all due respect to ex-Senator Brown, that is a ridiculous explanation. You can conceivably put your phone in your pocket and then accidentally dial someone’s number (the “pocket dial”) or accidentally post a tweet; such a tweet would probably consist of a couple of nonsense characters like “asdf” that accidentally got pressed. But sticking your phone in your pocket whereupon it accidentally types “bqhatevwr” and then posts to your Twitter account – no, that is not possible (or, more precisely, the probability of such a thing happening is vanishingly small). And the fact that “bqhatevwr” was immediately followed up by the correctly-spelled “whatever” shows that, in fact, a “pocket tweet” is not what happened. So, ex-Senator Brown is … embellishing, shall we say. Gizmodo goes into more detail about how “bqhatevwr” could not possibly have been a “pocket tweet” (key condition that would have had to be met: “Scott Brown has a very bony butt”).
What really happened is almost certainly this: Brown, irked by whatever it was that “Michael,” “Bud Parsons,” and “Matt” had to say to him, decided to respond by saying “whatever” to each of them. He hilariously mistyped that response to one of them, resulting in the now-famous “bqhatevwr” tweet (it’s unclear who he was talking to, since not only did he misspell “whatever,” he also did not include an “@” to make the tweet part of a conversation with another user), and then continued with his weird series of tweets, culminating in the grammatically-incorrect “Your brilliant Matt.” Whether or not he was drunk, I have no idea – he says he wasn’t. But he surely was not pocket-tweeting.
I have no idea why Brown went to so much trouble to concoct a story that obviously makes no sense.