From DailyKos via astute commenter johnt (click on cartoon, or here to enlarge):
FOX: OBAMA TO FORCE ALL AMERICANS TO BUY POT
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—President Obama is about to issue an executive order that would force all Americans to purchase a monthly supply of marijuana, the Fox News Channel reported today.
According to Fox’s Sean Hannity, who broke the story, Obama’s initiative is part of a broader plan to make weed available and affordable to every individual in the United States.
Under Obama’s plan, every American would be required to purchase a government-mandated amount of marijuana per month or face a penalty of up to two thousand dollars.
Hannity said that the President hopes to have the mandatory marijuana plan up and running by 2015, “but they’re still working on the Web site.”
Appearing on Fox, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) took issue with Obama’s recent remark that marijuana was no more dangerous than alcohol: “I saw that as an insult.”
Voters Shocked Christie Botched Such An Easy Political Cover-Up
WASHINGTON—Following revelations this week that staffers under New Jersey Governor Chris Christie manipulated traffic in a small New Jersey town to punish its mayor, mortified Americans across the nation reported that they were shocked to learn the potential 2016 presidential candidate could possibly fumble such an easy political cover-up. “Man, this guy wants to be President of the United States and he can’t even conceal an act of corruption this rinky-dink and run-of-the-mill from voters? It’s crazy,” Newark resident Carolyn Baum said in agreement with millions of stunned Americans, adding that she holds potential presidential candidates to much higher standards of subterfuge and graft. “I mean, this is a total softball. If he can’t even bully one little small-town mayor into submission by oppressing his constituents and get away with it, how can we reasonably believe he’s politically skilled enough to cover up national scandals like orchestrating a foreign war, illegally colluding with big business, or violating the civil liberties of millions of Americans? It’s a little scary, to be honest.” At press time, many Americans reported their faith in Christie’s presidential qualifications was somewhat restored after he released a series of statements pinning the blame on others and throwing top aides under the bus.
“Earlier today Governor Chris Christie was re-inaugurated. It was a beautiful ceremony. They even had that phony sign language guy. When Governor Christie was sworn in, he put his right hand on a menu. Immediately following the ceremony, Christie closed the Holland Tunnel.” –David Letterman
“Yesterday the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks advanced to the big game, which means this year’s Super Bowl will have teams from the two states where recreational marijuana is legal. Or as pizza delivery men put it, ‘Pray for us.'” –Jimmy Fallon
“Beyoncé performed at Michelle Obama’s 50th birthday party on Saturday night. Yeah, because there’s no easier way for a woman to turn 50 than having to spend your party looking at Beyoncé.” –Jimmy Fallon
John Tehan says
…concerns the poisoning of the water supply in West Virginia and is well worth a look:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/01/27/1272260/-Cartoon-If-it-were-terrorism
jconway says
And I might add his analogy would also hold if gun violence was treated with the same severity as Islamist terrorism against the United States.
We saw the post-Marathon lockdown and the charge of utilizing a WMD in Boston. If we could slap those charges against mass shooters and make buying a gun as hard as getting a flying license in a post-911 environment we could make a lot of progress. The fact that most of the GWOT efforts have been for naught and are discredited should not stop progressives from employing that rhetoric, which is effective, at making this policy change. The war on terrorism should clearly apply domestically to the weapons of mass destruction any American can easily purchase.
jconway says
If we count Katrina and Sandy we have lost far more Americans to global warming than we did on 9/11. That too should justify similar nationwide efforts, government restructuring, and trillion dollar investments to combat the threat.
John Tehan says
…Bush/Cheney and the 1% doctrine. Cheney said it often – that if there was even a 1% chance that Iraq had WMD, it would be worth going to war. Well, the chance that climate change is real is considerably higher than 1%, why haven’t we declared war yet?