Apologies for the delay in last week’s review. Our first contestant isn’t actually a joke — although it is humorous. It also speaks well of our former governor: fighting for charity, and evidently putting his time to much better use than he would have done in the White House. Bravo! CNN:
Romney is jumping into the ring — an actual boxing ring — with ex-heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield, a Romney aide confirmed on Monday.
“It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” Romney told the Salt Lake Tribune.
Romney, 68, will suit up and face the 52-year-old retired boxer for a charity event in Salt Lake City on May 15.
Progressive Company Pays Both Men And Women 78% Of What They Should Be Earning
SEATTLE—Stressing the importance of treating all its staff members equally, progressive technology firm Northstar Solutions described to reporters Wednesday its strict policy of paying both male and female workers 78 percent of what they should be earning. “At Northstar, we’ve always believed that employees who contribute the same level of hard work for the same duties should earn the same meager fraction of a reasonable wage, regardless of whether they’re men or women,” said the company’s founder and CEO, Jack Stargell, who noted that every staff member’s compensation package was routinely reviewed to ensure that personnel with comparable experience and job responsibilities were being equivalently underpaid. “Sex is simply not a determining factor in how we view our workers; they’re all disposable quantities to us that deserve an identical amount of disrespect and lack of recognition. No exceptions.” While noting that these gender-equal practices were unorthodox, Stargell added that the company was already seeing clear benefits to its bottom line.
“Yesterday was not only daylight saving time, but also International Women’s Day. What better way to address the issue of inequality for women than giving them a day that’s missing an hour.” –David Letterman”
Hillary Releases Twenty Thousand Spam E-Mails from Old Navy
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hoping to quell the controversy over e-mails missing from her private account, the former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Wednesday released twenty thousand spam e-mails she received from Old Navy.
“In an effort to be transparent, I have gone above and beyond what is required of me by law and released every last e-mail I received from this retailer,” she told reporters. “Now I think we can all consider this case closed.”
The e-mails reveal an extensive one-way correspondence between Clinton and Old Navy, as the retailer sometimes contacted her up to a dozen times in a single day to inform her of sales and other offers.
“This is one of the main reasons I set up a private e-mail account,” she said. “I did not want spam from Old Navy clogging up the State Department servers.”
But if the former Secretary of State thought that she could end the controversy swirling around her e-mail account by releasing the Old Navy spam, she may have miscalculated.
Representative Trey Gowdy, the Republican chairman of the House Benghazi select committee, questioned why Clinton would let twenty thousand spam e-mails from Old Navy accumulate rather than simply unsubscribe. “It doesn’t pass the smell test,” he said.
Responding to that allegation, Clinton said, “I want the American people to know that, on multiple occasions, I tried to unsubscribe from Old Navy, and my requests were ignored. The most frustrating part of this whole affair is that I’ve never even bought anything from Old Navy.”