(note: the following does not apply to lefties)
This has been irking me for sometime now. I think it is the result of a-holes visiting Europe and then thinking they’re F. Scott Fitzgerald or Madonna. Add that to television’s love affair with self-indulgent cooking and restaurant shows and abracadabra – where have our manners gone?
Listen up, when I was a student at White Gloves and Party Manners I was taught the proper way eat to a meal was to place the knife in one’s right hand and cut one piece of the entree while using the left hand for the fork, then, after cutting only one piece, switch the fork to the right hand and deliver the meat to the mouth. Afterwards repeat or take a detour to a vegetable or a starch.
Well my goodness. It’s a shame what’s happening out there. What I see is reverse fork in the left hand placed in the meat and then cut with the knife held firmly in the right hand. First part good. Like a second baseman cleanly fielding a ground ball.
The new thing is to keep the fork in the left hand upside down with the dead cooked flesh on it and, rather than switch hands and get in to proper eating position, these know-it-all, hipster, yuppie, liberal, bearded, bike-riding, over-educated, self-important, douche bags start painting the meat with the vegetables and potato(e)s like every fucking fork full is a goddamn work of art.
Then, after this disgusting display of I’m-better-than-you they go all in with the left-handed-reverse-fork method and choo choo that train right into the mouth.
God that disgusts me.
That’s completely wrong and it has to stop.
God that bugs me. Grosses me out. I know, that’s weird. But when I see people do that they might as well burp at the table.
I know they’re mothers didn’t teach them to eat that way.
Getting back to my brilliant second baseman analogy… it’s like grabbing the ground ball but then with all the time in the world throwing the ball over the first baseman’s head. See, if eating was baseball that’s what happens every time an American doesn’t put the fork back in the right hand and eat the meat only.
Hey Maura Healy, if you want to be the next governor you’re not going to win by telling people from Arlington and the rest of the state Democratic party to double down the fight against hate and blah blah blah blah.
It’s actually scary to see that approach without anything else on the agenda. Has anyone locally learned from the election or are we suppose think it was the result of hate even though Hillary was the most qualified ever?
How about a message for regular working Americans?