Face it: our current caucus process is broken. It’s overtly biased towards candidates that have support from people, when it should be helping candidates who are legitimate. Deval Patrick is a prime example. At best Patrick’s been able to muster a large army of volunteers — average, everyday folks hoping for a better future. Gabrieli, on the other hand, has an even larger army . . . an army of George Washingtons sitting in his bank account, ready to attack. Now that is legitimacy! Do you want to fight George Washington? I sure as hell don’t.
As his supporters say, Gabrieli is a legitimate candidate — legitimately wealthy — and yet he may not be on the primary ballot. So here’s a modest proposal sure to warm the heart of any Gabrieli supporter: let’s replace the caucuses with an auction. On caucus day, we line all the delegates up in a row, and one by one, we auction them off to the highest-bidding candidate. We could call it a “cauction”. A simple, efficient, and effective way of choosing the most legitimate candidate.
Aren’t you tired of special interests choosing our candidates? Well, these so-called “people” are the biggest special interest group of them all. It’s high time we put our elections in the hands of those that matter.
Are you with me?