Often timed with the other famous prognosticator, Puxsutawney Phil, the legendary Pennsylvania groundhog, who also saw his own shadow this morning, the Oval Office event has grown to almost the same, frenzied, party-atmosphere as takes place in Gobbler’s Knob.
Government employees from the State Department, Pentagon, Transportation, FBI, CIA, including some who travel to Washington from federal offices around the country, and a few from international posts, all begin gathering at and around the Bush Grindhouse in the pre-dawn hours, some staking out positions days in advance.
For the occasion, as like the crew at Gobbler’s Knob, those that work in the West Wing, don tails and top hats, and only a chosen few handle The Commander Guy after he’s seen his own shadow.
A cottage industry has grown around the Oval Office event, with trinkets, tchochtkes and T-Shirts – this year’s showing, being the last Bush Shadow event, on the front, an outline of hand, holding a pen over a document, and, on the back, a listing of The Commander Guys’ over-700 Signing Statement.
Vice President Dick Cheney, sources have told The Garlic, was at the event, wearing last years’ official T-Shirt, simply the image of a pair of headphones embracing the country at both coasts, with the words “We’re Listening” underneath.
“This really has come to emulate the movie,” offered Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter “What Did He Say Now?” that tracks and reviews President Bush’s speeches and interviews, referring to the comedy classic, ‘Groundhog Day’.
“Bill Murray goes through the same day, over and over, and nothing happens to him,” continued Johnson. “He doesn’t get injured or hurt …Arrested … Nothing happens … And Bush, it’s the same thing … He breaks law after law and nothing happens to him … It’s amazing, just like the movie.”
Bonus Groundhog Riffs
More Discord In The White House; White House At Odds With Groundhog Hire, Handlers Over Cheney Shooting; Bush Said To Be “Livid, As Famous Prognosticator ‘Never Tipped Us Off”; UK’s Blair Said To Be Frantic For Direction