1. The federal government will immediately buy all the mortgages that have failed, are failing, or are about to fail, because of crooked mortgage brokers (I typed this expression into Google, and got 49,000 hits – pick one!) who suckered stupid people into buying houses at unrealistically low variable interest rates, then sold, repackaged, diced, sliced and tie-dyed them, such that nobody could trace who did what to whom. They will also, working hand-in-glove with the Treasury Department, the IRS and the FBI, identify anyone and everyone who was involved in ANY mortgage brokerage over the last six years, and anyone with any sign of dishonesty will have the cost taken out of their net worth. If they can’t find the money, they lock the guy up until he produces it.
2. The federal government will then sell bonds, at auction as per usual, to raise the money to back the purchase of these mortgages The interest rate will be whatever the auction yields, just as it has always been. Net eventual cost to the government? Basically, the costs of processing (sunk costs) and the interest-rate differential. (This can be positive or negative. At this time, it probably would be slightly positive; in the future, who knows?) Oh, yes, and at NO time can the bonds yield more than the average yield of a commercial bank’s CD for the equivalent term.
3. http://www.wisebread.com/watch… Chase, and anyone else with the same larcenous ideas, will immediately stop with its credit card shenanigans, give back the federal bailout money, and give back the WAMU assets. Rather than destroy WAMU, the Feds will then restructure WAMU, such that those faithful who owned stock in same, in the amount of 2,000 shares or less, become its shareholders. (Those owning more, take a hike. You don’t get ANYTHING!) Everybody with the job of vice-president or higher at Chase will immediately undergo an FBI investigation, to determine their complicity in what gets talked about on the website cited. Those involved, even tangentially, will be relieved from their job, locked up, tried speedily (operative word, meaning, they get their day, singular, in court) on charges of felony bank fraud, and when found guilty, locked up for the maximum period allowed by law. Oh, and the Obama campaign has to give back Chase’s and Citibank’s obscene “contributions” to the inauguration fund. (Hmmmm. Wonder what gives with the Chase-Citi-Obama Connection? http://www.petercglover.com/wi… http://www.dollarsandsense.org… )
4. No banks, car manufacturers, or other private or public companies will be given one more red cent of government money. The fact that ANY of them got it is pure Bovine Feces of the Smelliest sort! The car builders will immediately be sent a terse not modifying the terms of the government largesse they received. (I mean, hell, if a credit card company can do it, legally, surely, the feds can do it, just as legally!)
5. Congress cannot give any more money to anybody, but they will immediately set up a two-trillion-dollar trust fund, to be administered without interference by a triumvirate of Samuel Alito, Sean Hannity and Al Franken. The watchdog for this triumvirate will be Sandra Day O’Conner. The purpose of this trust fund will be to rebuild US infrastructure, and to hire unemployed people who lost their jobs as a result of the recent misbehavior by the money sector, as well as ex-bank vice-presidents, Wall-Street analysts and ex-South Dakota Senators to do the work. At fair wages for the work, of course.
I urge you to contact your Congressperson, and ask them to support CHEMP-5
“Honesty will, in the end, always make more money than dishonesty. The Chump, ca. 2009)”