The universe works in strange and mysterious ways. Just this morning, I met up with my good friend and esteemed co-editor, Bob, for one of our periodic conversations about anything and everything. Among the topics we discussed was, oddly enough, donuts. We both agreed that donuts are outstanding comestibles, worthy of their own food group, and that Massachusetts can justly take pride in its superb selection of donut offerings. The biggest and most famous, of course, is Dunkin’ Donuts, a multinational operation which is still headquartered in Canton. I mentioned to Bob my personal affection for Demet’s Donuts in Medford (motto: “made in the back, sold in the front”) – if you haven’t been there, you need to go.
Anyway, all of this brings us to Mitt Romney. I was shocked and, frankly, embarrassed for the poor guy, when I saw this appear on his Twitter account:
Thanks @subwayfreshbuzz for breakfast. Better than the usual campaign diet of morning donuts http://twitpic.com/6eg9h0
“Better” than donuts. Think about that for a second … better than donuts. I mean, is that even possible? And there he is in the photo, actually holding a Subway wrapper, as though the hurt he’d already inflicted on the donut community wasn’t great enough. “Twitpic” is exactly right – a pic of a twit!
Plus, talk about an ingrate! Romney hasn’t been formally affiliated with Bain Capital for several years, but he certainly knows a lot of wealthy people who are still there, or who recently left. In the latter category, we find one Edward Conard, who retired from Bain Capital in 2007. One of the hobbies Mr. Conard seems to have picked up in retirement is creating phantom corporations whose sole purpose is to funnel a million bucks to PACs devoted to electing Mitt Romney president.
Since Mr. Conard was still at Bain in 2007, he might well have benefited financially from Bain Capital’s purchase of Dunkin’ Brands via a leveraged buyout in 2006. So it’s possible that some of the money that Dunkin’ Donuts generated for Bain wound up in the coffers of a PAC that wants to make Romney’s biggest dream of them all come true.
Better than donuts, he said. Better than donuts.
In any event, Bain et al. took Dunkin’ Brands public this year and did pretty well. And though I can’t prove it, it certainly seems likely that some of Romney’s admirers who are still at Bain were enriched by the Dunkin’s IPO, and thereafter directed some of those gains into Romney’s campaign. Bain, after all, was expected to reap hundreds of millions of dollars from the IPO.
And yet he said better than donuts.
But really, the money is beside the point. The real story here – and make no mistake, the politics of donuts are not to be taken lightly! – is that Mitt Romney, for the sake of a cheap shout-out to Subway (headquartered in Yankee country in Milford, CT) and to the elitist snobs who support “healthy eating” or whatever, has taken a potshot at perhaps the most iconic of local Massachusetts businesses: the corner donut shop. Better than donuts, he said…
I’m calling it right now: Donutgate is the political bombshell of the month. See you at Demet’s.
Or, lacking that, culinary sophistication?
Top Donut in Lowell is remarkable, and no one does a better Old Fashioned or Apple Fritter. No one! Shall be have a donut throwdown??
Anyone who for religious “reasons” is prevented from drinking coffee CANNOT judge the quality or lack thereof of donuts. Mmmmm: donuts.
is that the guy who has been the Subway spokesperson (the guy who lost a ton of weight after switching from fast food to Subway) is in actuality Mitt Romney’s once-estranged son “Fatt,” whose dramatic weight loss under the Subway regime has restored, as demonstrated by Mitt’s tweet today, his position in the family hierarchy as the full equal of sons Tagg and Matt.
Expect a dramatic and emotional family reunion press event covering the “family values’ angle of the above as soon as it becomes politically expedient.
John Tehan says
…it’s the parable of the Prodigal Rotund?
this smacks of IOKIYAR. When Obama goes into a bar and drinks something other than a beer, or goes to a breakfast joint and drinks an OJ instead of a coffee, it’s all over Fox News, with allegations of elitism. When Romney goes to Subway to get a ‘wrap,’ instead of going and doing the traditional thing, like donuts, that’s ‘eating healthy.’
The media can’t treat candidates from the same party even when it comes down to their breakfast joints! Doesn’t the media realize how much more weight Democratic candidates will have to gain if all we’re allowed to do is eat donuts, waffles and pancakes when having breakfast out on the stump, if we let Republicans eat healthy — and how that will effect the election dynamics of this country!
….Yes, all of the above, like David’s post, I’m assuming, is in jest… though I think there’s sadly a grain of truth in mine, hyperbole and sarcasm aside :p
but more than a grain…
Good name for a band.
John Tehan says
I can speak nothing to Apple Fritters, but I will vehemently protest anyone who tries to suggest Kane’s Donuts is not the best donut shop in the whole of the Commonwealth.
Well, at least aside from hot Cider Donuts made at a number of our apple orchards, like the Russell Orchard out in Ipswich (I’m finally starting to call it Russell, now that the name’s been changed for about a decade), which is my favorite out of all the places I’ve tried — particularly since it’s the most likely to be hot and fresh exactly when you pick it up.
“…..but I will vehemently protest anyone who tries to suggest Kane’s Donuts is not the best donut shop in the whole of the Commonwealth.”
They are worthy of a special trip from many, many miles away.
Vernas Donuts of North Cambridge is the best in the whole damn country let alone our fair Commonwealth. Rumors of its closing led several fanatics to drive from far away places to get dozens to freeze, it was Tip O’Neils favorite and Bill Clinton ate there and pre-heart surgery Clinton knew his donuts. That other MA based donut shop offered seven figures for the property and the owners turned it down. Simply the best.
John Tehan says
…are both worth the the trip and worth waiting in line for once you get there. Outstanding!
Ma’s in New Bedford? If not, then back off….