The universe works in strange and mysterious ways. Just this morning, I met up with my good friend and esteemed co-editor, Bob, for one of our periodic conversations about anything and everything. Among the topics we discussed was, oddly enough, donuts. We both agreed that donuts are outstanding comestibles, worthy of their own food group, and that Massachusetts can justly take pride in its superb selection of donut offerings. The biggest and most famous, of course, is Dunkin’ Donuts, a multinational operation which is still headquartered in Canton. I mentioned to Bob my personal affection for Demet’s Donuts in Medford (motto: “made in the back, sold in the front”) – if you haven’t been there, you need to go.
Anyway, all of this brings us to Mitt Romney. I was shocked and, frankly, embarrassed for the poor guy, when I saw this appear on his Twitter account:
“Better” than donuts. Think about that for a second … better than donuts. I mean, is that even possible? And there he is in the photo, actually holding a Subway wrapper, as though the hurt he’d already inflicted on the donut community wasn’t great enough. “Twitpic” is exactly right – a pic of a twit!
Plus, talk about an ingrate! Romney hasn’t been formally affiliated with Bain Capital for several years, but he certainly knows a lot of wealthy people who are still there, or who recently left. In the latter category, we find one Edward Conard, who retired from Bain Capital in 2007. One of the hobbies Mr. Conard seems to have picked up in retirement is creating phantom corporations whose sole purpose is to funnel a million bucks to PACs devoted to electing Mitt Romney president.
Since Mr. Conard was still at Bain in 2007, he might well have benefited financially from Bain Capital’s purchase of Dunkin’ Brands via a leveraged buyout in 2006. So it’s possible that some of the money that Dunkin’ Donuts generated for Bain wound up in the coffers of a PAC that wants to make Romney’s biggest dream of them all come true.
Better than donuts, he said. Better than donuts.
In any event, Bain et al. took Dunkin’ Brands public this year and did pretty well. And though I can’t prove it, it certainly seems likely that some of Romney’s admirers who are still at Bain were enriched by the Dunkin’s IPO, and thereafter directed some of those gains into Romney’s campaign. Bain, after all, was expected to reap hundreds of millions of dollars from the IPO.
And yet he said better than donuts.
But really, the money is beside the point. The real story here – and make no mistake, the politics of donuts are not to be taken lightly! – is that Mitt Romney, for the sake of a cheap shout-out to Subway (headquartered in Yankee country in Milford, CT) and to the elitist snobs who support “healthy eating” or whatever, has taken a potshot at perhaps the most iconic of local Massachusetts businesses: the corner donut shop. Better than donuts, he said…
I’m calling it right now: Donutgate is the political bombshell of the month. See you at Demet’s.