BREAKING: Senator Scott Brown proposes racial litmus test for opponents of color
BOSTON – Senator Scott Brown, (R) Massachusetts, has announced a new plan to discern which Democrats get to claim status as a person of color. Calling it the “Scott Brown-Paper Bag Test”, the senator will take a paper grocery bag and compare its brownness to the skin of his opponent, noting that if the opponent’s skin is indeed browner than the paper bag, like say Herman Cain’s skin, then it is OK to claim minority status. However, if the Democrat’s skin proves a shade or two lighter than the paper bag, then it must be said that the candidate is clearly 100% White.
“I’m proud to put my name on this idea and I hope it becomes a bi-partisan movement. I hope to head up a whole ‘Brown Paper Bag Party’ party, iff you will”, Brown said Sunday evening. He continued, “I really can’t see how Professor Warren has even one drop of Native American blood and my test will prove it.”
There’s no word from former Secretary of State Colin Powell on whether or not he has accepted Senator Brown’s invitation to join him at the Scott Brown-Paper Bag Test kickoff party and fundraiser this weekend.