So, the Nobel prizes have been coming out this week, physics blah blah blah, peace yadda yadda whatnot.
Look, genocidal radio-liar Jay Severin awarded himself a Pulitzer. Bill O’Reilly nabbed two Peabodys — by "nabbed", I mean he took credit for them without actually, you know, being given them.
So guess what? Forget all this penny-ante stuff. I’m thinkin’ large, baby. It’s like Ahmet Ertegun says in "Ray": You think pennies, you’ll get pennies. You think dollars, you get dollars.
$1.5 million, to be exact.
Yup, you guessed it: I have been awarded the Nobel Prize in Blogging.
This nice man who sounded like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show called up at 5am this morning, and he was all like "Congratulations Mr. MTA bork bork bork" and stuff. Dude, I was so psyched. And then he went on about how he loved our Deval Patrick interviews and Karl Rove takedowns and bork bork bork and whatnot. Sweeet.
The Swedish bikini team is going to deliver the prize tomorrow, along with some Swedish fish (you know, those little candy thingies at the movie theater) and Swedish meatballs. And then I’m getting a Swedish massage in a Volvo station wagon. And the money? It’s going in a totally top-secret Swedish bank account. Those are the best — like, all the drug kingpins and banana republic dictators have their jewels and coke and whatnot up there.
So, count yourself lucky that you alighted on this little blog, because it’s been recognized for "international brilliance and mighty feats of blogging" and stuff. Maybe some of it will rub off on you.
Yeah.
Congratulations! Incidentally, as you may have heard, the Red Sox have been awarded the Nobel Prize in Baseball, for graciously allowing a team with an even longer curse to have a run at the World Series.
And you can use the money to go on an Ikea spending spree!
As a full-blooded Swedish-American, I scorn your thoughtless and demeaning sterotypes.This is why we all vote Republican!
Petrus, you are also full-bloodedly humorless. Those “stereotypes” are as clearly as bogus as me awarding myself the Nobel — and as bogus as Severin’s Pulitzer or O’Reilly’s Peabodys. The whole thing is bogus. You nailed it. Can we be pals now?You all vote Republican? Now that’s a degrading stereotype.