I won’t be able to watch it live, so here are my predictions for tonight’s debate:
Chastened by the poor reviews of his behavior in last week’s debate, Tom Reilly wears a cardigan sweater, and ignores the first question in order to praise Gabrieli for his “positive, substantive campaign”: “I’m very pleased with you, Chris,” he says. Showing the kindess, humility and wry wit that makes him the toast of Palfrey Street in Watertown, Reilly brings the house down with a joke: “So these three lawyers walk into a bar …” Later all three candidates adjourn to his Watertown double-decker for iced tea and Parcheesi.
For his part, Gabrieli attacks Patrick and Reilly for their position on illegal immigration, donning Minutemen-style camoflage fatigues and brandishing a rifle at the podium: “Massachusetts for Massholes! Out of the mainstream, motherf@#$@s!” he shrieks, firing a “warning shot”, thereby clearing the room.
“I’m very disappointed in you, Chris,” replies Patrick from under a table.
Jon Keller asks Patrick to confirm or deny that he is, in fact, African-American. Patrick answers that he considers himself a “Hope-American.” Reilly promises in-state tuition to “Hope-Americans”, prompting another warning shot from Gabrieli. “I’m very disappointed in you,” says Keller.
Keller demands that Gabrieli step down from a hidden step-stool; Gabrieli revealed to be, in fact, a modest 5′ 7″.
Seeming to have the nomination sewn up by his closing statement, Patrick breaks down in tears: “You like me … you really like me …” Orchestra interrupts him before he thanks his campaign manager and his family for all he’s put them through.
Ugh, that’s all I got, folks. Try the steak.
that’s brilliant!
Thanks Charley, that was LOL funny.
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Warning: Football Analogy…
Gabrieli needs more than a touchdown in the final minutes of the game, but Patrick won’t be playing any wimpy prevent defense. All of us grass roots will be out on the field until the final whistle. BTW, we have been out there on the field since the start of the season, so we’re pretty tough. In fact, QB Gabrieli is slowly coming to the realization that all the money in the world can buy the grass under his cleats. And, if we don’t give him traction, he goes nowhere.
Sorry, but I don’t get much of it. Who’s the grassroots? The other team? The linemen? The marching band who refused to yield?
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And Reilly is where? What do you call a factor in a football game that has diminishing chances to win but can play spoiler (other than the New York Jets)?
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I figured that Gabrieli and Patrick were two people competing for the quarterback’s starting spot, we were the linemen, and that Kerry Healey was the other team…