Wow. Check this out, from Adam Reilly:
Write your own Kerry Healey ad!
100 words or less. Best entry (as judged by me and my Phoenix colleagues) gets a $10 certificate for El Pelon Taqueria!!! (Sorry, Kerry, your latest spot isn’t eligible).
Example:
(Angriest possible image of Deval Patrick on screen)
VOICEOVER: For centuries, black men were feared as violent sexual predators.
(Fade to photo of black man menacing white woman, maybe from “The Birth of a Nation“)
VOICEOVER: Granted, Deval Patrick isn’t a violent sexual predator…. But as a criminal defense attorney, he’s sided with rapists and cop killers.
(Fade back to original image of angry Patrick)
VOICEOVER: Unfortunately, lawyers are free to represent violent sexual predators. But do we really want one as our governor?
Nice! Anyone care to top that?
(Monty Python-esque animation showing Deval Patrick flipping off the camera)
<
p>
Deval Patrick hates you.
<
p>
(More animation: Deval Patrick mounting someone’s beloved dog. And not in a taxidermy kind of way.)
<
p>
Deval Patrick wants to do things to your pets.
<
p>
(Animation: Patrick lighting fires to piles of money, then dancing around them.)
<
p>
Deval Patrick wants to burn tax dollars in a Satanic ritual.
<
p>
(Animation: Patrick shoots old lady at voting booth.)
<
p>
This is how Deval Patrick treats those who vote for him.
<
p>
(Text:)
Deval Patrick. A Very Bad Man.
<
p>
Paid for by Patrick Haters Unaffiliated with Kerry Healy Campaign (PHUwKHC)
“wants to do things to your pets”
<
p>
off to the phonebank.
(start with grainy black and white image of Patrick in a law office)
<
p> (ominous voice) Deval Patrick is a liberal trial lawyer who wants to make sure that criminals have can get back onto the streets and into your homes. He supports things like defending criminals and writing letters on behalf of criminals to lower sentences given by liberals like Bob Graham. He thinks criminals get rights like you and me.
<
p>
Where does he get these wacky, pre-9/11 ideas?
<
p>
(Weirdly-reenacted shot of the Constitutional Convention, complete with dudes in powdered wigs… possibly involving the drinking of ales)
<
p> He says that they’re from a document written by men in POWDERED WIGS around 200 years ago. Do we want someone who listens to men in POWDERED WIGS to be our governor?
(Cue music from a scary movie, maybe Friday the 13th?)
<
p> Deval Patrick has defended rapists and copkillers rights to recieve a fair trial?
<
p>
(Ominous sounding female voice): What is Deval Patrick hiding?
<
p>
(Fade to grainy, distorted image of Deval)
<
p>
(Ominous sounding male voice): Deval Patrick supports giving children of illegal immigrants in-state tuition, and wants to give drivers licenses to illegals so “they become accountable in Massachusetts”
<
p>
(Ominous Female voice): I ask again, what is Deval Patrick hiding?
<
p>
(Amplify scary movie music)
<
p>
(Female voice): Given Deval Patricks record, the answer couldn’t be any clearer.
<
p>
Deval Patrick is an illegal immigrant who rapes white women and kills police officers for fun.
<
p>
He should be in jail, Not Governor
I will have victory! lol
Picturesf black men raping women? Why was that kicked-off when it was no more offensive than what else is up here?
<
p>
Lame
Opening shot is a distraught Kerry Healey being comforted by Warren Hillman with a tear running down her face, choking back the emotion.
<
p>
Healey: “Deval shot my Dog!!” (Stifles sob).
<
p>
Switch to grainy picture of Deval. Superimposed are the words “Do we really want another Democrat dog abuser in a high office?”
<
p>
The voice over is that of a mother giving comfort to a sad child saying the same thing.
<
p>
The final is a picture is of Lyndon Johnson holding his beagle up by the ears. Superimposed is the endorsement: Paid for by the citizens against Dog abusers who run for high office, an affiliate of Swift Boaters for truth in democracy.
Pitch Black Screen
<
p>
(Breath Over) Darth Vader breathing
<
p>
(Fade in) Picture of Deval with Ben Laguer.
<
p>
(Breath Over) Darth Vader breathing continues
<
p>
(Fade in) Picture of Deval with Florida Cop Killer
<
p>
(Breath Over) Darth Vader breathing continues
<
p>
(Fade in) Picture of Deval with Scondas
<
p>
(Breath Over) Darth Vader breathing continues
<
p>
(Fade in) Picture of Deval and Darth Vader
<
p>
(Darth Vader Voice Over) Deval, whos your daddy?
<
p>
(White Text over Black Screen) Deval Patrick soft on crime, son of Darth Vader.
Finish the video I’ve been working on.
<
p>
Coming up…
[Picture of a church] Deval Patrick worked for Bill Clinton — putting Christians in prison!
<
p>
Dozens of men were incarcerated for church bombings in the south under a Patrick investigation, and all of them were white Christian American citizens.
<
p>
[Shot of a forlorn-looking white man standing in a cell, holding the bars] Deval Patrick defends cop-killers and prosecutes Christians. What does this say about him?
<
p>
[In background, slightly out of focus, a very large black cellmate moves slowly toward white man.]
Show clips from both of her August 9th and August 18th television ads stating she: “Will Suspend The Gas Tax”.
<
p>
Text: If you don’t recall the commercials, the video record of this commitment is still posted on her campaign’s website. Check it out.
<
p>
Voiceover: But now she has been quoted by The Boston Globe as stating, “That was just an idea she was proposing, during the summertime, when prices were most volatile”.
<
p>
Deval on-screen: “You haven’t even been given a chance to place your vote yet and already Mrs. Healey is taking back that promise which she used, to mislead you into believing it was a guarantee.” If elected, is she still planning to suspend the gas tax? Does that make sense now? I don’t think it does. I never considered it a wise option. When does she plan to set the record straight? Is she going to clearly state her true intentions now? Or wait until after she gets your vote under false pretences?
<
p>
Video Backgound: “I Will Suspend The Gas Tax!” rewind, play, “I Will Suspend The Gas Tax” over and over.