The President’s real message…

We’ll discuss the way forward for our country, and I’m going to tell them what I just told our Cabinet. I don’t care what horse you came riding in on, you don’t have a veto proof majority so you can kiss my ass.

I have some important issues that have no chance of being passed by the next Congress so I’m calling on Congress to actually do some work for the next couple of weeks while they clean out their offices and move to the side of the building without windows.

The first order of business is for Congress to cut as many social programs as possible and give out the last contracts Halliburton is likely to get for some time.

The other important priority in the war on terror is for the Congress to pass the Domestic Spying Program. It’s also time to tell the oil companies they can raise prices again.

And on the foreign policy front, we need to complete the work we should have finished before the election.

As the new members of Congress and their leaders return to Washington, I’ve instructed my Cabinet to provide whatever briefings and information they need after filling a request via the Freedom of Information Act.

The American people expect us to rise above partisan differences, and my administration now that is has little choice will do its part. One of the most important challenges facing our country is the war on terror, and while the citizenry has said they don’t agree that Iraq was a central front on the War on terror, I’m still in a state of denial and pressing forward.

Now I can blame the Democrats for not providing the support our troops they need to prevail. I’m open to any idea or suggestion that will help me preserve my legacy.

Yesterday, I accepted the resignation of one of the original members of my Cabinet, [Defense] Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. He could not be with us today because in a moment of over zealousness, Condi canceled his access card.

Don has totally screwed up the war, taken no responsibility and is sure to write a tell-all book blaming everything on Tommy Franks. I’ve named another one of my Daddy’s friends from Texas to succeed Don Rumsfeld, former CIA Director Bob Gates.

Secretary Rumsfeld has to stay until Bob is confirmed, otherwise we would be without a Secretary of Defense and I don’t want his record to suffer by comparison.

When is my next vacation?