Shopping in 2008: A Presidential Parable

“..we have three choices for you,” he says in a lot with nearly a dozen vehicles, “although I can tell that two of those are really all the choice you need.”  There are two models surrounded by floodlights, and a third one sitting on a platform nearby, all nicely polished and shined.

“Let’s take a look at our best seller,” he says, pointing to a late 90s model sedan bathed in floodlights.  It looks, well, average.  “No surprises on this baby.  Very reliable.”

“Looks like it could be fun,” you think.  “How’s the accident record?”

“Oh, this car doesn’t get into accidents.  Occasionally, a driver may do something wrong, but it’s never the car’s fault.  Plus, everyone loves it!  Very family friendly, popular with the ladies particularly!”

His pitch isn’t working.  “I don’t care if ‘everyone’ loves it.  I’ve heard that this car has some defects in the engine, and the makers refuse to admit the problem and correct it.”

The salesman isn’t worried.  “Well, if this car has these so-called defects, why would it be so popular?  Besides, once they change to more ethanol-based gas, I’m sure the car will work better.  I think in some ways the manufacturer should be admired for sticking with the same plan no matter what results we get on the road.  But even this isn’t for you, check out this hot little number…”  He points at the other car on display, festooned with jaunty balloons.

You weren’t aware that they started making DeLoreans again.  But sure enough, there sits a DeLorean in all its jazzy splendor, gull-wing doors, metal skeleton, the whole nine yards.  Only a couple years old!

Of course, DeLoreans didn’t have much of a record for safety or getting the bang for the buck.  You ask about that.

The salesman frowns, “Geez, nobody asks about the car’s track record.  There was a great unveiling of this model two years ago, and nobody has really asked questions since — I mean, look at the doors!  Aren’t they exciting?  And check out the exoskeleton!  This aren’t as popular as the sedan over there, but they are skyrocketing in popularity.  Don’t you want to be on the ground floor of this trend?”

It is a slick car admittedly, and grabbing one now will put you in with the cool crowd.  But a car that doesn’t have an extensive record?…

“Oh, come on, take a chance.  The car looks sexy, what more do you want?  I’m sure it’ll run fine.  Look at those doors!”

Popularity sounds great, and the sales guy is really pushing the DeLorean.  But taking a chance on such an important decision doesn’t seem quite right. 

“What about that minivan on the platform?”

The sales guy shrugs.  “It’s a nice enough car, was really big a while ago.  I mean, people who drive it seem to like it, call it comfortable.  I’ve never had any real problems with it.”

“Why aren’t you talking about it more?”

“People haven’t been asking…they like the ones in the lights.  But we’ve had some customers show some interest, that’s why it’s kind of featured.  It’s reliable, not flashy.  I wouldn’t take it in rough conditions.  The makers have some good ideas, like the aromatherapy vent, but it never quite works.  Lots of ideas that look good on the prototype I guess, but they don’t work out so hot in real life I suppose.”

You’re a bit confused.  Who wouldn’t buy a car meant for real life.  And what about the other cars?

“Oh, you don’t want to look at them!  Nobody is interested in those.”

You think you see a mid-90s Escort, and despite the salesman’s protests, you walk over and peer through the windows.  It isn’t polished like the others, and doesn’t exactly gleam in spotlights.  But you can tell it’s a find.

“Get over here!  Don’t pay attention to the other cars!  If they were worth looking at, they’d be on the platform!”

You’re nevertheless interested.  “I’ve heard good things about this model.  It’s pretty much indestructible, right?”

“Well, yeah, I mean you can take this car anywhere.  Places where they won’t even let that DeLorean go, this Escort performs great.  Desert sands, no problem, temperate peninsular climates, no problem.  Definitely the best off-roading thing we’ve got.  Energy efficient too! We sold cars like this by the truckload back in the day, but now people want the flashy stuff…”

Well, you’re impressed.  “How’s the record on this?”

“Great!  It’s been tested in all sorts of environments, has a great safety record, incredibly reliable, adapts to changes well.  Why,  I really like this car.  Surprised it’s not more popular, really.”

Well, it’s not all polished up.  All the blinding lights are on the other cars.  This guy — “you didn’t want to let me look at it, and you’re saying it’s great?”

“Yeah, just won a major award.  Manages to do things these other cars never could.  But people don’t seem to care.  They just want the cars I tell everybody about.”

He pauses for a second, thoughtful, then shrugs.

“But it’s their own fault — if people wanted this car, they should make me talk about it.  If they make a bad decision, it’s all their problem.”

—–

I thank the reader for hanging this long, and offer a minor challenge…

In this parable, what is represented by:

you?

the salesman?

the sedan?

the DeLorean?

the minivan?

the Escort?