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We have lost a treasured member of our community

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We have lost a treasured member of our community.  

It is with great sadness that we write to tell you of the untimely death of our dear friend, Lori Bonatakis.  She posted and commented extensively here on BMG as lolorb.

Lori leaves behind her beloved daughter, Kristina, and several pets.

That is about all we know at this point. This obviously has come as a numbing shock to her daughter and to all her friends, and we will be letting you know more once we learn what Kristina wants to do to honor her mother.

Please use this diary as a chance to share your memories of “lolorb.”

Rest in Peace, lolorb.

Kate Donaghue

Corinne Wingard

Michael Wilcox

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Comments

  1. This is truly sad. I will miss her insight and humor. This is a big loss. I’m so sorry to hear this news, and my thoughts are, of course, with her family.

  3. Lori, as I knew her and thought of her, was a regular reader of BMG.  But all of us sometime miss something.  

    <

    p>Last year sabutai’s posted on his proposed BMG radio lineup.  Lori, aka lolorb, was nominated as co-host for the 4:00 AM to 5:00 AM time slot on the subject “Candidates You’ve Never Heard Of.”  

    <

    p>I called her to chat and asked if she has seen the post.  She hadn’t but when I told her, she laughed and laughed.  She had a contagious, happy laugh.  

    <

    p>I learned very early this AM of Lori’s death.  There are so many memories.  

    <

    p>Lori, I miss you.  The BMG community will miss you.  

  4. Sorry to hear about lolorb’s death.  While it’s true that she and I were on the outs, it’s always a shock when a member of a community passes on, especially in such an untimely fashion.  Don’t mean to be nosy, but how old was she, and what happened to her?  Just curious.

    <

    p>Anyway, my thoughts, too, are with her family.

  5. and Lori’s friends. She cared so passionately about the issues and knew so much. This is a terrible loss. Lori and I have been emailing and engaging in the netroots for almost as long as I’ve been a part of this community. I’ve only had the chance to meet her in person once or twice, but I feel in many ways as if we were good friends. She was fiery, caring, knowledgeable and constantly carried with her swarms of links, videos and facts – illustrative of the hard work she did to become an engaged citizen. I will miss the issues she was able to bring to this forum, especially since I learned a great deal, as well as do my best to make sure what I did learn from her is not forgotten.  

  7. I only knew Lori through her writing on BMG, yet I’m feeling numb right now. Her posts were ones that I always paid attention to. This is just really sad. I’ll miss her.

    • and always managed to stop and read them even though she and I were completely and totally on the outs. Again, though I’m  sorry to learn of her death, I have mixed feelings–on the one hand, I regret not having had the opportunity to get to know her better through BMG, and yet, on the other hand, sometimes two people just plain don’t get along and that’s that–this can be chalked up as a bit of bad chemistry between Lori (lolorb) and I.  

  8. I dug through all my emails with Lori over the past year and found this one, when she was one of the people who really gave me support during a difficult time. Hopefully, among all the things we remember about Lori, we’ll remember that the passion she had came from one thing – she actually cared. That can be a rare thing in this world.  

    • Ryan, Thanks so much for posting that.  When my father was diagnosed with cancer and going through chemo she was there for me all the time.  She was a good friend to so many of us.  

    • Today in Paradise

      <

      p>That day did not feel like I was in paradise

      <

      p>But looking at the pictures of that day

      <

      p>I can smell the sunshine, hear her laughter

      <

      p>see her with 7 mega pixel clarity.

      <

      p>The waters of death, floating so many I loved;
      On that outgoing tide

      <

      p>To hopefully return, riding the great waves

      <

      p>Onto the beaches of a different paradise, guided

      <

      p>by the flames of many white candles.

      <

      p>I was in paradise that summer day

      <

      p>But I did not know …

      <

      p>Today too will be paradise

      <

      p>In my memory

      <

      p>And will never return.

      <

      p>-written by Deb Sirotkin Butler in 2007, revised 7/6/08 in honor of Lori Benatakis

      <

      p>

      I did not know that day in June of this year would be the last day I would see or talk to Lori – and that despite all the discomforts and the heat, the Democratic Convention this past June was a Day in Paradise with Lori.  I will keep the memory, and the photos taken by another friend – and hope to take the time for kindness, no matter which candidate or position as well as to remember that we do not know one another’s pain or vulnerabilities in this virtual gathering place.  I would like to see more gatherings such as the one hosted by Lynne in Lowell to draw strength from one another, and become accustomed to reaching out in the real world as well as online.

      • The last day I saw Lori was Lynne’s gathering in Lowell.  I remembered her at the Convention – but my memory played tricks on me – she was not there [except, perhaps, in spirit].

  11. Greatness can only be achieved with fierce passion, and Lori had a passion about her beliefs which was admirable.  My best for her family as they deal with this awful loss.

  12. —  except that I will miss her friendship — and I know that we will all miss her tremendous contributions to progressive politics in the Commonwealth.

    <

    p>

  13. Lori and I spent many hours together in the summer and fall of 2003 working on Western Mass for Dean.  Our table at the Big E was her brainchild, and she made it happen.  It was amazing the amount of energy she had, every day, even when it was pouring rain.  She was tireless when it came to supporting progressive causes.  She always had an opinion, and she wasn’t shy about telling you, either.  I had some of the best political conversations with Lori that summer, too.

    <

    p>Kristina, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but all my thoughts are with you right now.

  14. a principled, fiesty and thought provoking woman…oh, Lori will be dearly remembered and sincerely missed.

    <

    p>

  18. And it sounds like the fleshy incarnation of lolorb,  Lori Bonatakis, was even more outstanding and awesome as a person then a commenter. What a shame I never knew Lori.  Judging from those who’ve met her, it truly is my loss.

    <

    p> lolorb was one of the contributors I enjoyed getting “6: Excellent” comment ratings from because if she thought it was worthy of a 6, I felt like I said something smart.  

    <

    p>I’d like to take this moment to offer two humble suggestions. First, I’d like to see some volunteers to continue the BMG Better Know series began by sabutai. BMG seems like it will be a permanent fixture and I’ve “known” some of you for two years know.  I’d like to be able to appreciate the human behind the opinion, the rhetoric, the passion, the position, the agenda, and the words before it’s too late.

    <

    p>My second suggestion is that since lolorb did not leave a “Better Know” post behind and only a handful of diaries, I think BMGers should go read this August 2007 lolorb diary to get a personal glimpse of Lori.

    <

    p>We Are All Responsible for what happens in our government.  It’s simple.  If we ignore, we get what we deserve. ~ lolorb

    <

    p>

    We Are All Responsible
    by: lolorb
    Thu Aug 09, 2007 at 12:31:53 PM EDT

    For what happens in our government.  It’s simple.  If we ignore, we get what we deserve.

    That is why I’ve worked my butt off for thirty some odd years.  I volunteer.  I don’t want to get paid for what I do.  It’s my responsibility to my child, my neighbors, my fellow activists, my community, my state, my country to be proactive in making change happen.  It’s hard work.

    At times, I’ve come close to giving up.  I read bloggers who vent, scream, rant and rave and have all the solutions on how to fix problems.  The ones who scream the loudest or are the most verbose amuse me to no end.  I try to have a sense of humor about it all.

    I’ve been told many times that getting involved in politics is stupid.  It’s dirty and you should be afraid to get involved.  Volunteers are used and abused.  You get nothing out of it.

    Well, I don’t care.  If being involved is all those things, then it’s about time to change the perception and make it better.  Maybe the volunteer experience can be made into a positive so that people aren’t afraid to get involved.  Maybe if people are encouraged and thanked, more people will become active.  Maybe if more people are active, change will happen at a faster pace. Continue reading lolorb’s post…

  19. Kate, Corinne & Michael:  Thanks for posting this.  

    <

    p>Lori and I have been good friends since the Dean campaign.  I met Lori at the first Dean meetup I attended.  Little did I know when I decided to check out the Dean meetup that there would be one “Lori” there and my fate was pretty much sealed the minute I walked in the door.

    <

    p>For someone who protested that she hated pubic speaking, she was good at it and led that large meetup remarkably well.  Her organizing and political skills were amazing.  I wasn’t sold on Dean because of parts of his platform — I thought I was still shopping around for a candidate (silly me).  Lori addressed all of them so effectively I was sold, and pretty much sunk when it came to Lori’s ability to persuade me to do campaign stuff I didn’t want to do!  

    <

    p>And it was my lucky day when I decided to go to that meetup.  Lori became a good and trusted friend.  She was tough, smart, knowledgeable and fiery as people have said.  She was also kind, funny and one of the most generous people I ever met.  The love of animals she showed here with her defense of pit bulls was more real than people can know.  Lori rescued more animals than I can count.  Of her many cats were two that came from a feral mother Lori had noticed near work.  The mother had one litter that Lori rescued, had neutered and found loving homes for.  With the second litter, Lori was able to catch the mother as well as the kittens.  She had them all neutered and again found loving homes for them, keeping 2 of them herself.  As for the pit bulls, she started researching the breed and becoming their fierce advocate when a starving young pit bull showed up at her house in NC.  He was skin and bones, terrified and freezing.  Lori quickly gained his trust, wrapped him in a warm blanket and cradled him to herself for 2 hours, giving him her body warmth & a huge dose of instant love.  Lori took this wonderful, gentle, loving soul in, got him desperately needed medical care, and continued to foot large medical bills as his health demanded over time.  

    <

    p>This was Lori.  It wasn’t just Lori with animals, it was Lori.

    <

    p>Lori moved to North Carolina after I did.  She visited me here and, like I did, she fell in love with the Asheville area.  You know how when you move and when you need a ride home from the airport friends seem to disappear?  Not Lori.  She came and helped me clean out a packed basement and garage (and laughed hysterically at me when I freaked out at a mouse jumping out of one of my boxes in the garage) and came back to help again and again.  As sad as I was when Lori moved back north, I knew it was what she needed to do.  The very positive aspect of that move was she’d be nearer to her beloved and wonderful daughter Kristina, other family and her friends in MA.  She adored her MA friends, worried about them, bragged about their accomplishments, and missed them when she moved away.  As much as she HATED cold weather (is it really possible to be freezing when it’s 70 degrees out?  Well, if you ever saw Lori in a long-sleeved shirt, sweater AND jacket when it was 70, you’d know it is), being back among her MA friends made it all worth it.

    <

    p>Lori leaves a huge legacy, among them her unique, remarkable daughter Kristina, who reflects the strength, compassion, probity & loving nature that was a part of her mother.  

    <

    p>The world has lost one of the great ones, folks.  Lori, my friend, I love you and will always miss you.  Rest in peace.

    • Can you call me?  When I first heard I thought immediately of you but I did not have a way to reach you.  I am at 508-404-8531.  Kate

      • Calling once I pull myself together — I was okay (read: numb) until I started reading this morning.  

  20. She was fearless and a “must read” here on BMG.

    <

    p>Thoughts and prayers to Kristina and all Lori’s friends and family.

  21. I first met Lori in 2004 when she was working for Howard Dean for President. She had
    made a number of trips to New Hampshire to work for him. She was deeply committed to
    Dean and his progressive agenda and she was a bit angry with the way the political
    process had treated Dean. Kerry won the nomination and lost the election. We have to
    wonder whether Dean would have done better.

    <

    p>Lori was next involved in supporting Peter Vickery’s campaign for Governor’s Councillor in
    the Fall of 2004. She brought her usual passion and devotion to the cause. Peter won with
    the support of Lori and the folks that she rallied to his cause.

    <

    p>In 2005, Lori was an early supporter of Deval Patrick. She worked the State Convention
    that year in Lowell for Deval. In June of 2005, Lori organized a major campaign function
    for Deval Patrick in Longmeadow and brought together a number of progressives, both
    black and white, to meet and greet the future Governor of the Commonwealth.

    <

    p>2005 found Lori organizing for the 2006 Democratic State Convention. In 2006, Deval
    won the nomination, the primary and the election. Lori was a major player in these events.

    <

    p>In 2007, after a brief departure from the area, Lori returned to re-enter the political fray.

    <

    p>Lori became a member of the Democratic Town Committee in 2008. Her interest in
    politics continued, but her activity level diminished.

    <

    p>It is with great sadness that I learned of Lori’s death. I was not aware that she was dealing
    with health problems.

    <

    p>I do know this. The progressive community of Western Massachusetts has lost a valued
    friend and a valiant comrade. She will be missed.

    <

    p>My condolences to her family and all of her many friends.

    <

    p>Best,
    John J. Fitzgerald
    Longmeadow

  22. Though I never had the opportunity to meet Lolorb in the flesh I was one of the many who both enjoyed her wisdom and wit as well as felt a surge of pride when she would rate my comments highly. Surely a badge of honor to be recognized and given credit by her.

    <

    p>Whether in person or online she made all of us better, more thoughtful people.  My thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends.

  23. I knew Lori Bonatakis by mostly by reputation. I spoke with her a couple of times on the phone. But I never knew she was lolorb, with whom I shared a passion, progressive view on education. I had emailed her recently personally lobbying for METCO, which is, was, or has been, under fire in Longmeadow.

    <

    p>I’m sorry to hear about her passing.

    <

    p>Mark

  24. Kate, thanks so much for letting us know (and thanks to who ever cross posted this to DailyKos where I saw it)

    <

    p>I can not believe Lori is gone.

    <

    p>One can never thank campaign supporters enough and I certainly never felt like I thanked her enough for all of her help back in 2004.

    <

    p>So terrible.

    <

    p>Monica Palacios-Boyce

  25. My deepest condolences to her daughter, family and friends.  She will be missed.

  26. We are all grieving here today. And we all will miss your wisdom and passion very much here on BMG.

  28. I have been re-reading one of Lori’s posts entitled “New Machine, Meet Old Machine”.  In it, I think she was wrestling with her own pragmatic experience in political organizing, but also her overriding and innate idealism.  She knew we could do a better job at shaping the political world.  I am so sorry that we won’t be seeing her raw honesty and informed insights at BMG again.

    <

    p>Good lines:

    <

    p>

    . . . the really important stuff is local and person to person. . . . Having worked on Deval’s campaign (and many others), I can tell you that talking points, blogs and tools are simply supplements to basic grassroots organizing.

    <

    p>

    Politics should be about the people who get involved, caring about them, nurturing their involvement, utilizing their unique skills, rewarding them and giving them latitude to make decisions about how tools are used.

    <

    p>

    The new machine will always be dealing with an old machine.  The lines get blurry sometimes as to which is old and which is new.

    <

    p>

    . . . When the party comes up with a method for rewarding actions instead of words, we might actually see long term participation.

    <

    p>In response to my comment saying, “a lot of politics stinks,” she wrote:

    <

    p>

    . . . Yup, (0.00 / 0)
    hence new machine, meet old machine.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t work towards change.

    <

    p>Peace out, Lori.  I don’t have a pitbull, but I will give my dog an extra cuddle in your honor today.  I will miss you.

  30. I got to know Lori quite well through the Dean campaign, I’m speechless with horror, she was so full of life, and much too  young to be taken like this.  My deepest condolences to Kristina and all Lori’s friends and family.

    <

    p>Larry H.

  31. …and I am so sad.  Lori/Lolorb was a wonderful member of this community…I will miss her.

    <

    p>My sincere sympathy to her family…she was a gem.

  33. I spoke with Kristina earlier and she was fine with me sharing a picture of Lori. I thought those of you who knew her but had never actually met her might like to have a visual to attach to this great woman.   Sadly, despite much searching, I can’t find the one I took of Lori up on the Blue Ridge Parkway.  She had a spectacular view behind her and I tried to get a picture of her there.  All I got was the spectacular view and Lori’s back….oh, and the middle finger she was extending behind her back.  

    <

    p>But she did allow me to take pictures of her on Christmas, 2006.  Lori didn’t really celebrate Christmas but I nagged her until she agreed to come celebrate Christmas Eve & Christmas with friends at my house.  

    <

    p>As I said before, Lori TOTALLY loved and advocated for animals.  I had a relatively new rescue (the black dog on her lap) who’d been abused and came to me with pretty significant fear aggression.  But, no surprise to me, he almost instantly fell in love with Lori and she was lured to my house with the promise that she could give him his first stocking of new toys (and my other sweetie, who EXPECTS toys!).  We had a great evening and day together and I actually got Lori to (sort of) celebrate Christmas!

    <

    p>This is how I’ll always remember Lori in her element with animals and her great laugh.
    ……

    <

    p>Okay, sorry — tried to embed but gave up.  Here is the link to her photograph (would have loved to have had it on the group page — maybe someone can do it for me.)

    <

    p>http://www.flickr.com/photos/1…

    • <

      p>It’s sad to have such a close community and to realize that we haven’t met.  Let’s get together and raise a glass of an appropriate libation for Lori.

      • My patience was limited yesterday and I finally took a “the hell with it” out!  I appreciate you stepping in.

    • Thanks so much for posting this.  Also thanks to Pablo for embedding it.  Lori so loved animals.  K

  34. Kristina – your mom was intelligent, passionate about her ideas, quick to express herslf and quick to enage others, and she was repsected because of it.

    <

    p>You can be very pruoud of her – and we will all have you in our thoughts.

  35. Hard day on the planet today.  My son’s father, my former husband, and my dearest friend lost his 11-year battle with cancer this morning.  He was only 46 and left an 11-year-old son.  I stopped by here today to catch up, not expecting to see the sad news about Lolorb.  

    <

    p>Gabriel Garcia Marquez one wrote, “The world had been sad since Tuesday.”  Pick your day.    

    • My condolences to you and your son.  I was thinking of you this AM and planned to e-mail or call you personally about Lori.  She spoke about your posts, both on BMG, and in the Dean days on DFA.  She was one of your many fans. Thank you for sharing the information about your ex.  I have the e-mail that was sent to your DTC.  Kate

      • I agree with HLPeary below me that words are inadequate. Losing a dad, a friend – anyone  – is tough.

    • I’m so sorry for your loss…indeed, the world can be such a cruelly sad place on any given day. My prayers for you and most especially for your son.

    • lightiris, so sorry to hear about your dear friend.  My thoughts go out to you and your son.  This is just terrible news.

    • Cynthia –

      <

      p>Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for both you and Quinn on the loss of Daniel.

      <

      p>May whatever source of strength or guidance you turn to in hard times carry you through this.

      <

      p>You and your family will be in my thoughts.

    • Your contributions here so valued, no doubt your wonderful dear friend speaks in part through them and will continue to do so. The pain of losses like this is a sharp reminder of how much we all have in common. Sincere condolences to your friend, your son and to you.

  36. I am still pretty new here in the wider scheme but always thought she was a fine commentator and gave as good as she got.  Prayers/thoughts to Lori and her family.  

  37. I only knew her as lolorb here at BMG, my thoughts a prayers are with her and her family.

  38. I haven’t been able to think/write before this and still feel that whatever I share will be inadequate to express my admiration, joy and respect for Lori Bonatakis.

    <

    p>Lori was a fierce warrior for positive change; deeply caring about society, humanity and “all creatures great and small”.  Thank you for being a teacher and a friend.  The world is a better place for your time here.

    <

    p>Lori, I honor your memory and love it that you would just “LOL”  at my sentimentality.  I miss you already.

  39. This is a terrible loss.  I only knew Lori through multiple exchanges here on BMG, but I feel like I have lost a friend.  My most sincere condolences go out to Kristina and all of Lori’s friends and family.

  40. It’s an odd little universe we visit here; somewhere between strangers and friends. Some come, comment and leave without notice. Others make an impression and are sought out.

    <

    p>I was stunned and saddened to read of lolorb’s passing because she was one of the ones that was noticed and sought out. I hope her family and friends find some comfort in their memories of her and the kind words of others that knew and appreciated her.

  41. Lori’s friends and family very much appreciate hearing from all of you.  It has been a tough weekend for all of us.  A memorial service is in the works.  Once details are finalized we will let the BMG community know.  If you have thoughts that you want to share but prefer that they not be on-line, you can contact me at KateDonaghue@aol.com and I can forward them to the family or send you an e-mail address at which you can contact Kristina directly.  

    <

    p>If you have memories or thoughts, please keep posting.  It is comforting to know how many people care.

    <

    p>Kate  

    • again….sorry to learn about it.  Without knowing either Lori/lolorb or her family personally, my thoughts, too are with them.  

  44. Hi.

    <

    p>Lori had just joined our group, which is active on global labor arbitrage, outsourcing, H-1B, L-1, displacement of STEM, Professional workers, IT.  

    <

    p>I blog on NoSlaves.com blog on these issues and we also have a community site devoted to “all things economic”, The Economic Populist.

    <

    p>This is a great, great loss and I just started to get to know her.  We had exchanged a few emails and I was thrilled to see another very active Progressive blogging on these topic specific issues.  

    <

    p>I barely got to know her, but it was clear that she was politically active in wanting to do something on the Race to the Bottom, i.e. global labor arbitrage, as are many STEM professionals.  Global labor arbitrage or wage arbitrage is the practice of displacing US workers, denying their careers in favor of cheaper, younger, foreign workers, often on guest worker Visas or the work is offshored.  Professionals over the age of 30 are especially vulnerable due to the rampant, institutionalized age discrimination.

    <

    p>My last email to her was the announcement of her a new member, most active blogger and a Welcome email.  

    <

    p>Now that I discover her love of animals it’s possible we chatted on DK during Katrina.  Animal lovers were desperate for the Pets during that time and there were many diaries on trying to help the animals also.

    <

    p>I will not presume to make sense of the senseless and try to understand why such a beautiful soul was taken from us.  

    <

    p>I do know that being displaced from one’s livelihood, being forced out of one’s career due to absolutely no fault of one’s own, reduced income to loss of income….
    For people who played by the rules and did everything right… is a great injustice.  Literally there is nothing else one can do and Technical people especially have a tendency to look at their skill sets (themselves), instead of the corporate agenda of globalization/cheap labor as a cause.   Wage arbitrage is going on right now in the United States and affects millions of people adversely in every aspect of their lives.

    <

    p>I hope to carry on this work of generating support for insourcing/outsourcing reforms, to support US workers, generate awareness of what is going on with Professional workers in the United States and I believe Lori would greatly approve of these efforts.  

  45. My condolences and best to her family.  

    <

    p>I never met Lori in person, and I have to echo tblades comment that we should get to meet each other when we can.  

    <

    p>

    • I had never met her either, but appreciated her commitment and contributions to making BMG a real community.

      <

      p>Best,

      <

      p>H

  46. Many people have suggested that the members of the Democratic on-line community see each other in person more often.  Why not a BMG/BlogLeft Canvass!  Lori would have said that the suggestion was typical of me, but she would have joined in.   “There is no subsitute for shoe leather,” according to Lori in New Machine Meet Old Machine, the post she wrote after the BlogLeft gathering at Lynne’s in Lowell.  I think of the BMG Canvass led by Charley and reported on by me.  Note that Lori wanted to be there but couldn’t.  We should make a plan sooner, rather than later, where we can work to elect Democrats, and raise a glass in honor of our own lolorb.

    • I could also suggest, perhaps we could gather/canvass for Jen Benson, who’s running as a progressive Dem in Jamie E’s old district. I know her opponent (formerly “independent” Congressional candidate Kurt Hayes) is getting a huge amount of focus and money from the state Rep. party, and Jen could use all the help she could get. We can’t afford to lose that seat, when it’s been held so long by a true progressive, and Kurt Hayes is seriously REgressive.

      <

      p>I interviewed Jen last week for my radio show and she’s wonderful, smart, and articulate. Just the sort of candidate Lori would have supported. Just an idea…

  47. While I had disagreed with lolorb on issues and the way she presented her self in her posts it’s still very sad to hear this news.  

    <

    p>It’s true that I had issues with her post bashing John Kerry…. http://vps28478.inmotionhosting.com/~bluema24/s…

    <

    p>Not for the substance but because she didn’t disclose the fact that she was a volunteer for Ed O’Reilly.  

    • The thing I liked most about Lori’s comments was that she was never cowed by powerful politicians. She gave praise where praise was truly deserved but she also pointed out where they failed to perform their duties and when they engaged in hypocrisy. Her postings criticizing Kerry were on the money… and would have been just as valid had he been running unopposed.

      <

      p>Her political courage was rare in a time when praise is given where it is not due just to curry favor with the powerful…she did not engage in that kind of pandering….her candor will be missed.

  48. And an exemplary member of our community, in my opinion. She was straightforward in her reasoning but fierce in her conclusions; aggressive at times but always willing to laugh at herself in the end; and recognized opposing arguments, even if she did not always sympathize with them. She had a zest for debate that captured thousands of readers here, as these comments suggest. I celebrate her memory, and send my deepest condolences to those closest to her and everyone she touched.  

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