Blue Mass Group

Reality-based commentary on politics.

Elder Care

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Now what is involved is the removal of decisions out of the hands of surviving members of the family namely my her only surviving son.  It means what is left of half of the estate gets sucked up to nursing home care like it or not all the way down to $2000 which don’t even buy a decent funeral.

Bitter?  Pissed?  Trust me the full ramifications and the book will be forthcoming.

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  1. Aside from my life here on BMG, I’ve practiced elder law for a decade. You don’t have to go through this alone.

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    p>I’m not clear why you’re saying that decisions have been removed from your hands — has the local Protective Services agency become involved? More facts are needed, of course; but there can be some good options here for helping your parents to live out their lives with some dignity and to preserve assets for your mother if your father does need skilled nursing care.

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    p>I also want to encourage you to contact the Massachusetts chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association http://www.alzmass.org — they have some terrific resources.  

    • lasthoresman, I share your frustration and anger that our society is woefully inadequate in terms of not having the social programs that a humane and civilized society ought to have–and that many others do have (none perfect, I’m sure). Try to reach out for support even though that’s hard to do in a time of crisis.

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      p>mwd, thank you for reaching out with specific helpful suggestions and support; my faith in humanity just bumped up a wee bit.

    • and three financial planners.  She pulled me into this about six months ago so I could “help” manage the estate which consisted of 90% stock portfolio.  Needless to say this is down to half of what is was.  At every turn she ignored my input leading me to the conclusion that she just didn’t care about me.  Like the real “economy” “elder care” looks to me like an industry designed to extract the wealth of the parents of the baby boomers.

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      p>In July my company knew the economy was going to tank on September 30 and “volutary” retired me included.

  2. It sounds like you are completely stressed out.

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    p>I’ve been there. My beloved father, a veteran of two wars, died at the beginning of this month. My three sisters and I cared for him–he lived with one who worked full time; I came by her house for ten hours at a stretch to be with him three times a week, and a family friend came by twice a week and my third sister on weekends.

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    p>And even then it wasn’t smooth sailing. It was incredibly stressful and exhausting. And my Dad was in full command of his facilities and not a complainer.

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    p>It’s hard. It sounds like your Mom has just had enough. And I know a little bit how she must feel. And how frustrated you must feel.

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    p>I can’t do anything more except to tell you to look into eldercare nonprofits in your area, and find out what Medicare can cover for your dad’s care.

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    p>I’ll be thinking of you and hoping you and your Mom find strength and courage in the weeks ahead.

    • Sharoney — I’m truly sorry for your loss. Being a family caregiver is exhausting under the best of circumstances.

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      p>Unfortunately, Medicare covers very little for the kind of supportive services that lasthorseman’s parents need. Except for a brief period of time after hospitalization, home health care is NOT a Medicare benefit. The amount of MassHealth funding to pay for home health services is limited — and a significant amount was recently cut from a promising program for home-based care for persons who clinically qualify for skilled nursing care.  

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