Attention all elected officials: Listen up!

If you are an elected official – at any level: local, county, state, federal; member of any party – please read this and take it to heart.

A lot of us have had it with these political scandals and how they suck the wind out of just about everything: news, blog posts, water cooler discussions. So here’s what I’d like you to do:

(note to editors: If I could separate above and below the fold, I’d do it here)

Carve out some time in the next week or so to think. What I want you to think about is your life and all of the things you do, whether as part of your job or not. And especially things that you do while using your computer, smart phone, or anything else that creates a permanent record of your activities.

While you are doing this, note anything that you think you’d find an embarrassment or otherwise damaging if it became public knowledge. If you think you need to grab a pad of paper and a pen at this point, do so. Don’t leave anything out, whether it is part of your personal life or something you should not be doing as part of your job. Whether or not you are breaking any laws.

Now, for each of those noted items, play out in your mind what would happen if that knowledge got into the hands of someone who might want to blackmail you, or someone with the morals of Andrew Breitbart, or Andrew Breitbart himself. Or if all of the sudden you became the lead story on CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News.

Now think about the effect this would have on your career, your aspirations for higher office. How it would affect your family, your spouse (if applicable), your friends, the people around you who trust you most. Your constituents. Your colleagues.

And then think about how much time and energy would be wasted on covering and discussing this revelation in the media and on the Internet, time and energy that could better be spent fighting for the very things you support, those things that you got into office to do. And how you’d end up a weaker proponent for those causes.

If you come to the conclusion of “eh, this would blow over eventually” or “I could lie my way out of it,” think some more. Talk to a trusted confidant. Make sure.

Finally, if you don’t like the outcome of the thought experiment, stop doing that! Now. Put another way, since I’m reading Keith Richards’ book at the moment, it’s time to quit the smack cold turkey.

You might ask, “There’s something that certainly would be embarrassing, but it’s really no one’s business but the people who are involved.” Well, here’s an example to help you figure that out.

Suppose you and your spouse are into tying each other up in bed. If that got out, I think most reasonable people would say that if it’s your spouse, you both consent, and no one gets hurt, well so what? Don’t worry about that one.

However, if you are actively seeking out others outside your primary relationship who share this interest, whether just for titillating conversation or for actual encounters, that’s over the line.

You might also ask, “Well, I screwed up already, and there’s evidence. Like a kid. Or a pile of money in my bank account.” In that case, you need to consider the consequences of getting that information out there on your own terms rather than having someone else do it.

OK. Got it? You have no excuse for being stupid now. You’ve been warned. Take care of it.