Blue Mass Group

Reality-based commentary on politics.

The Canadian Cruz Conspiracy

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It took a while, but I think I finally understand what is going on with the Cruz-induced government shutdown.

Let’s start with the basics. United States Senator Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz was born December 22, 1970 in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Less than a year after being elected to the Senate, Cruz is whipping votes in the House and pushing Congress into a U.S. government shutdown.

Let’s connect the dots here. A Canadian-born US Senator is actively pushing this shutdown, actively pushing a strategy that will damage the US government and the US economy. And who would be the prime beneficiary of this governmental suicide? Canada, of course.

Isn’t it obvious? What else could this be? Isn’t this the first step in a Canadian conspiracy to take over the United States? With the US federal government shut down, it will only take a few dozen members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to roll across the border and take control of our country.

And then what?

Will we all be singing Oh Canada, in French?

Will the Canadians mandate all USA Dunkin’ Donuts be converted to Tim Horton’s?

Will we be forced to replace our favorite breakfast meat to Canadian bacon?

Will we be required to add unnecessary vowels into words like colour?

Will Canada geese complete their hostile takeover of every golf course in the US?

Will we get Canadian health care?

Will we be all become nice and polite?

It’s the only explanation that makes sense, or even limited sense, or is the most sensible explanation of the total nonsense in Washington?

Je me souviens, baby.

 

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Comments

  2. Hey, if it means getting Hockey Night in Canada, I have to think about it. The remainder of CBC programming I can live without, though.

    Will we all be singing Oh Canada, in French?

    Dang, I only know the English. The French version is more violent, right?

    Will we be forced to replace our favorite breakfast meat to Canadian bacon?

    And you will refer to it by its proper name, Back Bacon.

  3. My sister (Detroit area) reports that the other night when all of the news stations had their countdown clocks to government shutdown, the CBC station over the river (and did you realize that Canada is south of Detroit?) was also displaying a countdown clock: To the first puck drop of the NHL season!

    Is Canada a great country or what??

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