So, my hypothetical friends. Let’s say Chris Christie is elected President of the United States. Given the Christie administration’s love of traffic studies in blue neighborhoods, what might those inquisitive folks like to study if Massachusetts is stubbornly blue?
Where would he put the traffic cones in and around Boston to create the most interesting study results? Can you conduct a resounding study with the fewest number of traffic cones? Where would you strategically place the cones of study?
My nomination for the most interesting Chris Christie traffic study: Force all westbound Mass Pike traffic onto the U-Turn ramp at the Allston-Brighton tolls and back into downtown Boston.
Can you have even more fun with fewer traffic cones?
Please share widely!
Your proposal’s tough to top. I’m thinking of the SE Expressway from 3:30 to 6 PM, but the hitch is that a lot of Republican leaners from the South Shore will be caught up in that. Ditto exits to Gillette Stadium.
Perhaps rerouting all the traffic from the Forest Hills overpass down onto the surface streets? Oh wait, we’re already going to do that all by ourselves.
…the evening commute anywhere east of Worcester when there is a Monday or Thursday night Patriots game in Foxborough, though it would be hard to make that situation any worse! What a wonderful context for a fascinating traffic study!
Any morning or any evening – no one would ever get anywhere!
Under our federal system the states are in charge of placing traffic cones. We do a fine job of screwing things up without federal assistance.
President Christie could however order air strikes, so blue cities better watch out!
Just get an EPA truck with flashing yellow lights and sufficient traffic cones, declare that the rare spotted pithed frog has appeared at a strategic location, and you can engineer a dramatic closure.
Oh wait, our Democratic leadership is already doing that. đŸ™‚
Stimulus money causes traffic snarls. Say NO to stimulus money đŸ™‚
The key to a successful Fort Lee action is *surprise*. Nobody knows the closure is going to happen, and nobody can plan for it. The Callahan and Longfellow closings leaked way too far in advance to be so effective.
Take THAT Route 110!
Candid Camera did just that in 1960, when they closed Delaware.
Close I-95 across the top, which is just a few miles.
Close the rest of the peninsula by closing US 50 across the Chesepeake and the Chesepeake Bay Bridge tunnel in VA.
DE is smart though in a way. It tolls both I-95 and the Delaware Memorial Bridge, conveniently traveled largely by out-of-staters who can’t vote for the legislature. DE like NH has neither income nor sales tax and its corporate structure is favorable to attracting them, including the Bank of “New York”.
It’s all about timing. What about closing exit 8 on the Mass Pike the night before move-in day at UMass-Amherst?
Close Exit 9 of the Mass Pike on the day before Thanksgiving.
Aqua Teen LED things.