Controversial website Gawker proves it can be useful with this hair-raising investigation published last week. Now you know.
Presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump has generated an unceasing torrent of press attention that some estimate to be worth roughly $2 billion. Yet the central mystery at the very core of his persona—his inscrutable hairdo—has somehow, impossibly, remained unsolved. Until, perhaps, now.
A tipster who claimed knowledge of Trump’s hair recently came to Gawker with a potential solution to the enigma: Trump’s hair is not his own, costs tens of thousands of dollars for installation and upkeep, and comes from a man as mysterious as Trump is bombastic.
This solution that Trump, our tipster says, sought for his hair woes is a little-known, patented hair restoration treatment called a “microcylinder intervention.” It’s only performed by one clinic that we know of—Ivari International—where our source once sought treatment, and where he says he learned of Trump’s apparent patronage. What’s more, Ivari’s New York location was inside Trump Tower—on the private floor reserved for Donald Trump’s own office.
You figure there must be something better out there.
… anybody sufficiently enlightened enough to imagine, design or build something better is also likely sufficiently enlightened enough not to deny baldness in the first place.
That, since Trump has made his throwback alpa-maleness the centerpiece of his campaign, how rarely it is mentioned that not only does he have this weird artificial hair structure, he also is dying it such an unnatural color. If you look at a pic of him from the 80’s it’s a pretty regular shade of brown.
I know you meant alpha-maleness, and I’m not picking on you, it’s just that I first quickly scanned that as ‘ALPO’-maleness… which added an entire combover of funny.
On a related note, I heard Larry Wilmore refer to Donald Trump as ‘The Upper Crass,” which was also hilarious.
lines of “alpaca.”