Charlie NOT on the MBTA….

Though I’m a little perturbed, and somewhat disturbed, that the otherwise fine satirists of BMG left it to me and my poor efforts to update the relationship between a man name Charlie and the Boston transit infrastructure, I must admit to a higher power taking hold of me during this one; the comic irony was just to much for me to stop, once started… Oh, sure, the initial thought was, “Nah… too easy!” But, alas. I suppose, further impetus was found in the notion that the ongoing horror has leached us of our will to deride… and that simply won’t do. As the man says, if we can’t laugh we’d all go insane. Never hurts to remember that. And, so, once more into that breach, I go… (also, sorry Charley…. and… not sorry, Charlie.)

For you poor un-fortunate young’uns who don’t know the original, here’s a sub-par youtube video… and the following should be sung to the same musical accompaniment. Those of use who don’t play a musical instrument will accompany with a single-malt. So kick back, listen up, and chill the ____ out.

Let me tell you the story of a man named Charlie
On a tragic and fateful day
Put his tax cuts in his pocket, kissed his wife and lobbyists
Went to hide from the MBTA.

Did he get on board? No he never did board
his whereabouts r still unlearn’d
He may hide forever
from the voters of Boston. He’s the Governor who’s never onboard.

Charlie hides all the time, shirks the subway stations
And he avoids all of Jamaica Plain
But when spotted the conductor told him, “We’re in a pickle.”
But Charlie couldn’t get aboard that train.

Did he get on board? No, he never did board
his stance is still unlearn’d
He may hide forever
from the trains of Boston, He’s the Governor who’s never onboard.

Now all day long Charlie hides from the voters, saying
“we’ll have a committee to study the T”
But the committee was late, ’cause the trains don’t run straight
Nor was Charlie aboard, you see…

Did he get on board? No he never did board
And his hind parts should get burn’d
He may hide forever
from the trains of Boston. He’s the Governor who’s never onboard.

The one thirty train breaks down at the Scollay Square station
Every day at quarter past two
And through the broken windows they see Charlie’s crumbling s**t sandwich
As the train don’t come rumblin’ through.

As the trains were dee-layed throughout Greater Boston
voters looked around and sighed,
“Well, we’re sore and disgusted, the T’s absolutely busted;
‘guess we’ve really been taken for a ride.”

Now you citizens of Boston, Don’t you think it’s a scandal
That the T has to fail and fail
Vote for anybody but Charlie.. fight the fail increase
Get ole Charlie AWAY from the MBTA.

Chorus:
Or he’s never onboard
No he’s never onboard
tho’ his hindparts should get burn’d
He may hide forever
from the voters of Boston
He’s the Governor (Who’s the Governor)
He’s the Governor (Oh, the Governor)
He’s the Governor who’s never onboard.