Borowitz:
Scientists Believe They Have Isolated Gene for Failure
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—Geneticists at the University of Minnesota believe that they have isolated the gene that makes some people much more prone to failure than others.
While the research is preliminary, the scientists said that they were able to successfully identify the failure gene by studying the DNA of males in two generations of the same American family.
“If we have indeed isolated the gene that makes people fail—and we believe we have—all of the subjects in our study are carriers,” said Davis Logsdon, the geneticist who supervised the research.
According to Logsdon, those who carry the gene for failure have “absolutely no idea that they have it” and thus project the confidence and self-assurance of people whose genetic material does not make them likely to wreak havoc on a massive scale. …
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