And the Alt-Jesus went out to the Golf Course to make the Sermon on the Amount. Gathering his hedge fund managers to him, he spoke as one having a buttload of cash…
“Blessed are the wealthy, for they are the creators of jobs”
“Blessed are the sleek, for they shall have Gucci bags aplenty.”
“Blessed are those who mourn for lost privileges, for they are the whites and, man did they have it good…. ”
“Blessed are those who speak in code for their intent shall not be known, until it is too late.”
“Blessed are the proud, ’cause fuck the meek. I mean, seriously, when are they gonna grow a pair, amirite?”
“Blessed are the peacemakers…. the Colt ‘Peacemaker” a single action .45 caliber pistol with 11 inch barrel, Ivory handles with mother-of-pearl inlay and hollow-point bullets.”
“Blessed are the cop-killers, for they shall shoot down unarmed black men, with the ‘peacemaker’.”
and, making room for a foursome to play through, the Alt-Jesus said unto his hedge fund managers
“New commandments I give unto you:”
“Thou shall bear false witness,( every chance you get)”
“Thou shalt steal (every election you can’t win on the merits…)”
“Now, watch this drive…“
fredrichlaricciasays
Sermon on the Amount. Now that’s clever.
Christophersays
That was hilarious! Did you come up with that yourself or did you have a source?
SomervilleTom says
You forgot two:
Vote Republican
Vote Trump
petr says
And the Alt-Jesus went out to the Golf Course to make the Sermon on the Amount. Gathering his hedge fund managers to him, he spoke as one having a buttload of cash…
“Blessed are the wealthy, for they are the creators of jobs”
“Blessed are the sleek, for they shall have Gucci bags aplenty.”
“Blessed are those who mourn for lost privileges, for they are the whites and, man did they have it good…. ”
“Blessed are those who speak in code for their intent shall not be known, until it is too late.”
“Blessed are the proud, ’cause fuck the meek. I mean, seriously, when are they gonna grow a pair, amirite?”
“Blessed are the peacemakers…. the Colt ‘Peacemaker” a single action .45 caliber pistol with 11 inch barrel, Ivory handles with mother-of-pearl inlay and hollow-point bullets.”
“Blessed are the cop-killers, for they shall shoot down unarmed black men, with the ‘peacemaker’.”
and, making room for a foursome to play through, the Alt-Jesus said unto his hedge fund managers
“New commandments I give unto you:”
“Thou shall bear false witness,( every chance you get)”
“Thou shalt steal (every election you can’t win on the merits…)”
“Now, watch this drive…“
fredrichlariccia says
Sermon on the Amount. Now that’s clever.
Christopher says
That was hilarious! Did you come up with that yourself or did you have a source?
fredrichlariccia says
From a friend.
Tcostigan says
https://www.google.com/amp/thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/presidential-campaign/349808-michelle-obama-outshines-all-democratic-prospects%3famp
jconway says
I’ll forward this to my father in law. We’ll see how the old folks home residents react to it đŸ˜›
fredrichlariccia says
Thanks, James. I’d be interested to hear their feedback.