“In light of the most recent polling, it has become clear that a drastic change needed to be made in our campaign before voters head to the polls tomorrow. Voters on all sides of the spectrum have declared their discontent with my recent advertisements on issues of crime, and specifically rape. They have also alleged that ‘I am better than the campaign I’ve run’. Well, they are correct”.
“I am not to be held at fault for this, of course. I realize that I am running as a bold leader, but seriously…I’m still campaigning! I have to save all of my leadership and tact for when it really counts. I have decided that Tim O’Brien will stand as my whipping boy du jour, as the Legislature and the Transportation Secretary have already been whipped severely. I therefore announce the immediate dismissal of Mr. O’Brien and the appointment of a new Campaign Manager.”
“All polls lie, except for Healey’s internal polls! The Deval Patrick is doomed! We will sail to victory, winning every vote! Healey/Hillman ’06, and forever!!!”
(Yes, I am trotting out an old joke. Yes, I am OK with that. Happy Election Day!)