Thnx to Chasf for the electronic reminder of Friendly’s frappes, Major Mudd (my 15 minutes of fame), and Dale Dorman’s Creature Double Feature. Wicked pissa…
1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life.
2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you’re swearing at him for going too slow.
3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke.
4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid
5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.
6. You do not recognize the letter “R” as a part of the English language.
7. Your social security number starts with a 0.
8. You can actually find your way around Boston.
9. You know what a “regular” coffee is.
10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round.
11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent.
12. Springfield is located “way out west.”
13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn’t flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.
14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Gloucester, and Haverhill.
15. Anyone you don’t know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise.
16. Paranoia sets in if you can’t see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy alcohol.
18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski.
19. You know there’s a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot.
20. You order iced coffee in January
21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere
22. You love scorpion bowls.
23. You know what they sell at a Packie.
24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS.
25. You know what First Night is.
26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.
27. McLobster? McCrap!
28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies.
29. Sure there are 6 New England states, but Connecticut really doesn’t count.
30. You intentionally give wrong directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself, “Ah, screw ’em.”
31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.
32. You’re sick of the Kennedy’s, but you vote for them anyway.
33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional
34. The numbers ’78 and ’86 make you cringe.
35. You’ve been to Goodtimes before
36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (…and they DO).
37. You have never been to “Cheers.”
38. The words ‘WICKED’ and ‘GOOD’ go together.
39. You’ve been to Fenway Park several times.
40. You’ve gone to at least one party at U Mass.
41. You own a “Yankees Suck” shirt or hat.
42. You know what a Frappe is.
43. You’ve been to Hempfest.
44. You know who Frank Averuch is.
45. ADVANCED: You know Frank Averuch was once Bozo the Clown
46. You can complete the following: “Lynn, Lynn…”
47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be friggin’ Snows.
48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one.
49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he’s right 25% of the time.
50. You never go to “Cape Cod,” you go “down the Cape”.
51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
52. You know who Whitey Bulger is.
53. You went to the Swan Boats, House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school
54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams.
55. You remember Major Mudd.
56. You know what candlepin bowling is
57. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
58. You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is.
59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around. Speaking of which…
60. You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town
61. Calling Carrabba’s an “Italian” restaurant is sacrilege
62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents’ attic.
63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
64. The only time you’ve been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town.
65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn’t really that much of a surprise.
66. You call guys you’ve just met “Chief” or”Boss.”
67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means there’s just 3 more shopping days until Christmas
68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy
69. You refer to Savin Hill as “Stab ‘n Kill.”
70. You’ve never eaten at Durgin Park, but recommend it to tourists.
71. You can’t look at the zip code 02134 without singing it.
72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country.
73. 11pm? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloon!
74. 2am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly’s Roast Beef!
75. 5am? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat
76. You know that P-Town isn’t the name of a new rap group.
77. People you don’t like are all “Bastids.”
78. You took school or work off for the Patriots first Super Bowl Win Parade.
79. You’ve called something “wicked pissa.”
80 You’ll always get razzed for Dukakis.
81. Saturday afternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman.
82. Sunday mornings meant the Three Stooges on Channel 38
83. You’ve slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
84. No, you don’t trust the Gorton’s Fisherman.
85. You know that Papa Gino’s usually has a jukebox.
86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time
87. Your town has at least 6 sub shops, and none of them are a Subway.
88. You know at least three Tony’s, one Vinnie and a Frankie.
89. 20 degrees isn’t that bad as long as there’s no wind.
90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden.
91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice’s Restaurant.
92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was Athah Feedlah.
93. You know what the Combat Zone is.
94. You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax.
95. You’ve pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.
96. You’ve bragged about the money you’ve saved at The Christmas Tree Shop
97. You’ve been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night.
98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual.
99. Hearing an old lady shout “Numbah 96 for Sioux City!” means it’s time for steak.
100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayre
s, or Ann & Hope.
101. You actually get these jokes and can think of even more.
…What’s missing?
Leominster and Leicester.
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81. Dale “the doorman” Dorman
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Add-ons
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102. Matty in the Morning FM 107.9
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103. You have bumper-skied (especially blizzard of ’78)
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104. You have your first Larry Bird and Bobby Orr shirts in your drawers regardless of the size you/they were when you bought them.
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105. You are certain that we, “ahn’t really that libral heah” and Kansas is a real place in a movie.
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This could double as a political reality…
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Sorry Peter P.
That is an interesting parallel. Our politics are deeply ingrained in our dialect–or perhaps it’s vice verser. 🙂
“72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country.”
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That’s the only explanation. :p
one of the greatest moments in your life aaanddd, one of the biggest let downs because you had a new void in your life that whining about The Curse used to fill. ;P
freed us up to reverse the 16 year Gubernatorial curse. Maybe it all began at Fenway. Who knows where it will end?
My aunt was that “old lady” for a number of years… back when the Hilltop was run by Frank Giuffrida. Too bad it is now a shadow of its former self. Thanks for the memory.
(12:00 p.m. drunk? Hilltop Steakhouse waiting for a table.)
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Baily’s Ice Cream Downtown: we went there as kids after going to see ‘The Nutcracker’. It was a real treat. I still dream about their hot fudge!
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The Rat and Narcissus: When Kenmore Sq. was a dump, 2 AM was often an interesting mix of big hair rockers and disco kings and queens from Narcissus, and punk rockers spilling out of the Rat. And on that note: Nemos and Pizza Pad for those 2 AM slices! What was that breakfast place called in Kenmore? I can’t remember.
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The J. Geils Band!
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For Cantabridgians:
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The Tasty
Nick’s Beef & Beer
The Ding Ho
Inn Square Men’s Bar
Jack’s
The Wursthaus
Discount Records
The Orson Wells Theater
when Grendels in Harvard Square had free appetizers during happy hour? Back then, me and my friends would have a beer there every night just to get a free dinner. I think we ruined it for everyone.
The last time I was there (2003?) there were free wings. My friends and I used to go have dinner on free apps also.
and also the Ding Ho
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Lenny Clark was always the least funniest comedian. And he’s funny.
Kenmore Square Sucks now.
Kenmore Sq. is unrecognizable from its former seedy self. It may as well be part of the Mall of America. Where the hell is Mr. Butch when you need him?
and the Aegean was a greek diner in Kenmore.
(Sniff)
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Walk in with $10. Have two giant pitchers of ice-cold Budweiser beer, one double cheesburger with a piece of lettuce and a slice of tomato, and a mountain of French fries. Leave a 20% tip. Have enough change left for the T.
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It was a miracle.
How many cookies did Andrew eat?
Somewhere between 8 and 8000, I’d say. (confession: Google helped me out with this one!)
Or, at my age, you went to Nantasket Park or Whalom Park as a kid.
It was at Nantasket Beach in Hull.
Why can’t you guys write stuff like this?
Bob, Charley and David deserve far more bloggy reverence than me, though.
(lol and xoxox’s for you Ernie.)
You can write it if you want to, go ahead!
It don’t work that way. that is what we call plagarism, Bob
Dwayne Ingles Glasscock
The Morning Mishigas (sp?)
with the lunchtime song. And Joe Jackson gettin’ paid on Fridays.
I found him out in Hawaii and he’s still a pissa. Check out The Big Mattress blog! Tell him I sent you!
… Danny Schechter, the News Dissector
the Cosmic Muffin
http://www.thedailyi…
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July 2006
…but you know you need a two-wheeler to move that file cabinet.
Brigham’s… with jimmies?
You don’t have a heart attack in Boston, you took a heart attack
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Has anyone mentioned Joe and Nemo’s (speaking of which)
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Sully’s means Castle Island and a dog and a walk for lunch (speaking of which)
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you know how to “walk the Sugar Bowl”
You wear dungaress, not jeans.
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Any building less than fifty years old is “new” — like the new Hancock building.
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You think tri-cornered hats look ridiculous.
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You can’t understand why anybody would not like fried clams.
..means “you guys are too.”
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Or if you know why the Lechmere stop is called that.
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Or if you’ve ever had had Moxie.
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Or if you remember when the red line was extended and before Davis was hip.
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Or if, in addition to having had jimmies, you’ve actually done research to figure out if the term is racist or not. (Does anyone know???? I’ve just decided to assume yes…)
I’d completely forgotten about them. I used to call the “Blechmere” and a friend of mine used to call them “Leachfield”
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They were one of the places you went to get stereo equipment, washers, dryers, etc… hard sell
Too bad too that Filene’s Basement has gone the way of nostagia along with shopping as a contact sport.
Best training for rugby I ever had. Mom brought us in to witness the brides dress sale once, just for fun!
Actually, the Lechmere stop was NOT named after the store. It’s the other way around.
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In Revolutionary times, that area of land was owned by the Lechmere family. It got the name Lechmere Point (before they filled everything in), and the T-stop and the store (the first one in the chain) took their name from Lechmere Point.
Here are some from my high school days:
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– You know who “The Turk” is.
– You know who “The Chief” is.
– You know that the Halfway house is on Nahant beach
– You know what Hoompa is.
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– You used to listen to Roy Foxx on WRKO
– Larry Glick Lemonade
– Ask the Manager on TV 38
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– WLYN was Y-102 and played the best new music with Rich Anzelone
– You remember Peter Choyce and Blowfish
he was on Y-102 also. WERS, WMBR and WZBC all played great cutting edge music back in the late ’70s/early ’80s. Oedipus from ‘BCN got his start on WMBR (then WTBS).
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Those were the days!
You remember Big Brother Bob Emory and Don Kent.
he was old when I was little!
…That little row we have to hoe,
Oh, Boy that’s haaaahd!
But if we all could wear green glasses
Then it Wouldn’t Be So Haaahd
To see How Green The Grass Is
In Our Owwwn Baaaaccck Yaaaaahhhhhhd!
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Big Brother Emory! And his terrible houndstooth check! Hadn’t thought about him in almost fifty years!
A true retail maven would have mentioned RH Stearns and Kresge’s. A childhood dilemma would have been deciding which after-shopping treat to devour: Jordan Marsh’s blueberry muffin or Bailey’s hot fudge sundae. And Bostonians never refer to Washington St as “Downtown Crossing.’
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Lastly, #43 “Hempfest” entry — ahhhh, get a clue, there is nothing inherently Bostonian about this event. Bostonians do not recognize the millions of transient college students as one of their own and events like Hempfest are their creation. We could, however, institute an annual Fall event involving college students — Smackdown — when Bostonians have an opportunity to beat the crap out every spoiled, rude, obnoxious, self-focused, entitled student just for the fxck of it. Now that’s the true spirit of Boston.