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Top Ten Cloves: Excuses Hillary Clinton Is Giving For Not Paying Her Campaign Bills

April 1, 2008 By jtdgarlic

10. “Some would say, let’s get everybody together, let’s get unified … The sky will open … The light will come down. Celestial choirs will be singing … And everyone will know we should do the right thing and the world will be perfect … And we won’t have to pay any bills … “

 9. It’s not the pledged bills that matter, but the popular bills that count

 8. Thought that once she crossed the Commander-in-Chief Threshold, she didn’t have to pay the bills anymore

 7. “I know there are some people who want to shut this down and I think they are wrong,” Clinton said in an interview during a campaign stop here Saturday. “I have no intention of paying any bills until we finish what we started and until we see what happens in the next 10 contests and until we resolve Florida and Michigan …”

 6.  She’s been sleep deprived

 5.  Holding off paying bills, to put pressure on the striking Daily Kos diarists to get them to start writing about her again

 4.  “We tried to go to the accountants’ office, but we came in in an evasive maneuver… I remember arriving under sniper fire… there was no greeting ceremony… we ran with our heads down, we basically were told to run to our cars… there was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the accountants’ office, we basically were told to run to our cars,  and not pay the bills

 3.  Checkbook was in kitchen sink thrown at Obama

 2.  She didn’t have any plans, after Super Tuesday, to pay any bills

 1.  “It’s not easy, it’s not easy,” Clinton said shaking her head. Her eyes began to get watery as she finished answering the question, “I couldn’t do it if I didn’t passionately believe it was the right thing to do. This is very personal for me. I have so many ideas for paying the bills and I just don’t want to see us fall backwards. It’s about our bills, it’s about our kids’ bills,” she said softly crying, her voice breaking.

Bonus Hillary Riffs

Kenneth Vogel:  Clinton didn’t pay health insurance bills

Mark Murray:  Clinton: Not paying the bills?

Prairie Weather:  Clinton sustaining damage on two fronts

What About On Day Two?

Top Ten Cloves: If Hillary Clinton Is A Monster, The Movies That Would Be Made About Her

“Oh … THAT Conspiracy …”

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Filed Under: User Tagged With: campaign-bills, clinton-campaign-not-paying-bills, health-insurance-bills, hillary-clinton, hillary-clinton-not-paying-bills, national, paying-bills, satire, top-ten-cloves

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