The President: Golly, another hard-hitting column by Jeff Jacoby in the Globe. No wonder my approval rating is slipping. What can we do?
Rahm Emanuel: $#%$$%@%^^&%$^%#%$%$#.
The President: Okay, okay, but we can’t let Jacoby’s attacks go unresponded. Here’s the deal. We’ll send an emissary to directly negotiate with those pesky people. How about Bill Richardson? He knows that scene pretty well.
Secretary of Defense Gates. Sorry, Mr. President, but Governor Richardson is judging the ristra braiding contest in Santa Fe this week, and you know how seriously he takes those duties.
The President: Well, we’ve got to find someone. I know. How about Bill Clinton?
Everyone in the room: Bill Clinton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The President: Keep it down, guys, Hillary will hear you all the way over at the State Department. Actually Clinton is the perfect emissary. He knows everything about everything. He’s been itching to get back in harness. And he looks cool sitting in those funny-looking chairs that the North Koreans make everyone pose for pictures in.
Secretary Gates: But Mr. President, the North Korea is an enigma; it’s dangerous.
The President: You think I don’t realize that? After all, I was probably born there! Joe, what do you think?
Vice President Biden: Jesus Christ, Mr. President. I think your idea is pure genius! Besides, Jacoby has us over a barrel. If we don’t take action, Peter Canellos, the Globe’s new editorial page editor, will write a hard-hitting editorial and then we’ll really be in the soup.
The President: You’re right, Joe. Get President Clinton in from the golf course and let’s get moving.
And, as if to underscore its clout and that of its ace columnist, both the New York Times and the Washington Post put the Clinton story on page one today; the Globe: page three..
Who’s that?
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p>Oh excuse me, I have to cut my toenails.
Possibly the Globe’s brightest-ever move was hiring this guy to simultaneously placate conservatives and expose them to ridicule. Oops, I gave it away.
http://www.boston.com/news/glo…
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p>Oh yeah, him. He’s awesome.
Wikipedia:
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this just in
Through trial and error, Clinton has become expert at the pardoning thing.
Jacoby wrote a nice piece indicting our countrymen for being more concerned about Michael Jacksons kids then these two women.
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p>Yet we at BMG hate Jacoby, right?
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p>So therefore anything coming from his mouth is garbage. right?
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p>So let’s make sure we knock him even when he may be right.
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p>smalltownguy is really a smalltowntool.
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p>Clinton went their because the Koreans told the hostages to tell their families that’s what they wanted.
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p>A private citizen.
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p>That the media decided on wall-to-wall coverage of Michael Jackson and his family is not an indictment of ‘our countrymen’.
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p>Jacoby gets a smug hard-on when he thinks he occupies the moral high-ground… not realizing that self-righteousness is the first disqualifier for said high-ground occupation. Kinda like the media and Michael Jackson: flailing around desperately for something that’ll prick even their most jaded souls, if only to remind themselves that they, long ago, once felt something real, isn’t journalism and, in fact, disqualifies them from journalistic endeavors.
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