This inexplicable gem from the folklorists at today’s Globe:
Shaheen faces a potential challenge from former Massachusetts senator Scott Brown, who has already pulled off one now-legendary upset.
Gather ’round children for another retelling of the Legend of Scott Brown.
Everyone knows how, born in a log cabin in rural Kittery, NH, Scott Brown spent his youth trekking the frontier in his blue truck, Babe, wrasslin’ bears, plantin’ apple trees, and posin’ for centerfolds.
But probably the most famous story is how Scott Brown outwitted the ghost of Ted Kennedy in Massachusetts, with the help of his sidekick KaziKrazi, a Pennacook trickster figure (“shaker-of-etch-a-sketch”) from Kittery.
Some say Scott Brown saved Krazi’s life, some have it the other way around. Krazi gave to Scott Brown the gift of spotting a Native American just by looking. And he helped Scott to reach the golden no-show Senate of Empty Suits.
Scott Brown had a barn coat, Scott Brown was handsome, Scott Brown had Babe. But everyone knew Scot Brown could never win an election in Massachusetts. So KaziKrazi told Scott Brown to play a trick on the goddess Emily.
Scott Brown went to Emily and said, Miz Emily, do whatever you like to me, but please don’t nominate that Martha Coakley. Naturally Emily picked Martha, and Scott Brown whupped her with his barn jacket and his teeth and his hair and his truck.
Scott Brown had many adventures in the capitol, meeting secretly with kings and queens and prime ministers to share his common-sense business acumen and his access to top-secret intelligence.
Scott Brown loved Washington and tried powerful hard to stay. In one story Scott Brown even transferred his military service there to avoid spending time in Massachusetts. But in the end Scott Brown had to return and was bested by another woman. That really hurt Scott Brown’s feelings.
Nowadays, when the wind is just right and the sun is low in the sky, you might just hear Babe as she carries Scott Brown from state to state, always ready to take off his shirt, loaded with PAC money, looking for more women to teach a lesson.
Note: Revised, because the Legend Will Never Die.
n/t
The principal source seems to be the theme song for the Disney TV series about him…
Just a couple of days ago they had a front-page story about Scott Brown causing the Democrats to redeploy all sorts of resources to damage control in New Hampshire, thus leaving every other open seat so much more vulnerable. I saw that when I was thinking about buying the Globe at the newsstand. It reminded me why I don’t bother buying it that much anymore. I left it on the rack.
Note to Morrissey Boulevard: not everything in this life is about Scott Brown.
BUY THIS NEWSPAPER NOW
Sources tell the Boston Globe that a political fight is heating up north of the state line that is best and most accurately covered and analyzed in the Boston Globe. In what newsroom sources tell newsroom sources is a close fight, former Globe star Scott Brown is engaging with an undetermined politician of decidedly non-Brown nature. Polling of the watercooler, mailroom, and smokers’ hangout on the loading dock agree that this race will be close. The dynamics of this race involved Scott “Boston” Brown and the other man and/or woman mean that only the Brown Globe can cover this story as well as it needs to be covered. To better understand this political race, click frequently on the ads on the Boston Globe website, and buy many copies of this newspaper.
…that any notion that the Globe is part of the liberal media cabal went out the window a long time ago? I confess I was one who thought their editorials tilted left. Was that true at one point? I know they’ve been discussed here as not great fans of public education too.
The “now-legendary” thing caught my eye, though.
The reporters cited no anthropologists, historians, sociologists, or folklore experts, no sources at all. I guess they teach legend spotting in J school now.
Anyway I thought I should provide a legend, since one was wanted.
When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.
At 63 I’m old enough to remember when the Globe really
was liberal and honored journalism’s first principal :
‘afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted.’
As a boy of 10 campaigning with my brother Peter on my
first campaign in 1960 for JFK we would start every day
reading the Globe. To see them now shamelessly sucking
up to that empty suit, Wall Street, Koch boot licking,
wannabe phony, makes me sick. I’m ashamed to acknowledge Scotto even grew up in Wakefield, my home town.
Fred Rich LaRiccia
(former intern to ‘The Lion’, Sen. Ted Kennedy and Founding Member of the Honorary Fellows of the John F. Kennedy Library)
“In all life one should comfort the afflicted, but verily, also, one should afflict the comfortable, and especially when they are comfortably, contentedly, even happily wrong.”
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”
As a very impressionable young intellectual, I can remember laughing out loud as John Kenneth Galbraith tore into William F. Buckley on ‘FIRING LINE’ with his rapier wit, leaving the conservative stuttering and exasperated. Listening to JFK’s Ambassador to India was an education and inspiration.
Fred Rich LaRiccia
I read my dad’s copy of “A Life in our Times” and while it was written in 1980 his observations about the media are just as true today. We always hoped to get him to sign the book but never got around to it and now he can’t. But a fantastic economic mind.
Globe editor Brian McGrory said, in an interview with those other bastions of journalism, Jim and Marjorie, “Elizabeth Warren ran an abysmal campaign.”
If someone else hadn’t heard it, too, I would have believed that I heard it wrong. A woman who has never run for anything before beats a popular, sitting Senator who has run many races and the editor of the “liberal” paper says this?
The charter school story is just one of many that the Globe slants. But it’s hard to know these things unless you already know them. Or, read the learned posters at BMG.
to have experienced journalists willing to school us in so many things.
What makes a good campaign. What the “real” issues are (they are rarely what voters care about unless instructed). And now folklore.
If she ran an abysmal campaign what does that say about Brown’s?