This inexplicable gem from the folklorists at today’s Globe:
Shaheen faces a potential challenge from former Massachusetts senator Scott Brown, who has already pulled off one now-legendary upset.
Gather ’round children for another retelling of the Legend of Scott Brown.
Everyone knows how, born in a log cabin in rural Kittery, NH, Scott Brown spent his youth trekking the frontier in his blue truck, Babe, wrasslin’ bears, plantin’ apple trees, and posin’ for centerfolds.
But probably the most famous story is how Scott Brown outwitted the ghost of Ted Kennedy in Massachusetts, with the help of his sidekick KaziKrazi, a Pennacook trickster figure (“shaker-of-etch-a-sketch”) from Kittery.
Some say Scott Brown saved Krazi’s life, some have it the other way around. Krazi gave to Scott Brown the gift of spotting a Native American just by looking. And he helped Scott to reach the golden no-show Senate of Empty Suits.
Scott Brown had a barn coat, Scott Brown was handsome, Scott Brown had Babe. But everyone knew Scot Brown could never win an election in Massachusetts. So KaziKrazi told Scott Brown to play a trick on the goddess Emily.
Scott Brown went to Emily and said, Miz Emily, do whatever you like to me, but please don’t nominate that Martha Coakley. Naturally Emily picked Martha, and Scott Brown whupped her with his barn jacket and his teeth and his hair and his truck.
Scott Brown loved Washington and tried powerful hard to stay. In one story Scott Brown even transferred his military service there to avoid spending time in Massachusetts. But in the end Scott Brown had to return and was bested by another woman. That really hurt Scott Brown’s feelings.
Nowadays, when the wind is just right and the sun is low in the sky, you might just hear Babe as she carries Scott Brown from state to state, always ready to take off his shirt, loaded with PAC money, looking for more women to teach a lesson.
Note: Revised, because the Legend Will Never Die.