I have spent a number of years complaining about the interactions between Democrats and Republicans, but after the recent events involving the Keystone XL and civil liberties cave-ins, I’ve decided it’s time to stop complaining and embrace … [Read more...]
On The Question Of Virginity, Or, “Starter? I Can’t Make Her Stop!”
I got a weird little story about my friend Blitz Krieger to bring to you today. He’s had a crazy car problem, he has, and over the past few months he thought he had found a solution – in fact, he thought he had found the solution of his … [Read more...]
On Speaking To Power, Or, When Sanity’s Gone, There’s Always Satire
So everybody’s hearing the news, right? There is a tentative debt ceiling deal, and this Administration and Congressional Democrats seem to have won everything they wanted: Republicans get to have multiple “we don’t approve” votes before … [Read more...]
Hitler Holds News Conference, Blames Balanced Budget Amendment For U.S. Defeat
(FNS - Washington, New Germany, April 17, 1947) America’s new Führer, Adolf Hitler, announced today that his official War History would in fact acknowledge that one of the biggest contributing factors to the defeat of the Allies was the … [Read more...]
On Being Bumped, Or, Let’s Have Another Roundup
So I thought I was going to have another Jay Inslee story for y’all today, but it turns out that I’m going to have to do more research before we can “come to press” with that one. But that’s OK, because the world’s been busy doing a lot … [Read more...]
On Sunday Drinking, Or, Has Satan Been Rendered Irrelevant?
I know better than to go drinking on Sundays, but it’s just been one of those weeks, and I figured I’d grab a few beers, no big deal, and then head hone and get some real work done. Of course, the reason I don’t drink on Sundays is … [Read more...]
On Open-Source Entertainment, Or, Today, Jon Kyl Meets Twitter
...I decided to celebrate Jon Kyl's ground-breaking excystplanation last night by tweeting round-the-clock nonfacts about him: "For the past ten years Jon Kyl has been two children in a very convincing Jon Kyl suit" and "Jon Kyl calls all … [Read more...]
On “La Dolce Vita”, Or, The Real Life Of A State Worker
Good morrow to the day so fair; Good morning, Sir, to you: Good morrow to mine own torn hair Bedabbled with the dew --From "The Mad Maid's Song", a selection from "The Hesperides & Noble Numbers", by Robert Herrick So as … [Read more...]
Campaign Manifesto #3: On The Road, Defending Social Security
Sitting quietly, doing nothing, Spring comes, grass grows by Itself. --From the "Zenrin Kushu", attributed to Toyo Eicho I-90, the main route from West to East (if your fake trip begins in Seattle, as ours did), was closed at Wall, South … [Read more...]
Campaign Manifesto #2: In Which We Travel To Wisconsin
All sober enquiries after truth, ancient and modern, Pagan and Christian, have declared that the happiness of man, as well as his dignity consists in virtue. Confucius, Zoroaster, Socrates, Mahomet, not to mention authorities really sacred, … [Read more...]