All sober enquiries after truth, ancient and modern, Pagan and Christian, have declared that the happiness of man, as well as his dignity consists in virtue. Confucius, Zoroaster, Socrates, Mahomet, not to mention authorities really sacred, … [Read more...]
Campaign Manifesto #1: In A World Of Phonies, It’s Time For A Fake Candidate
It was almost too good to be true. Richard Milhous Nixon, the main villain of my political consciousness for as long as I can remember, was finally biting that bullet that he's been talking about all these years. The man that not even … [Read more...]
Oklahoma Shari’a Law Controversy: The Secret Plot Is Finally Uncovered
Clay Bennett, the Chair of the ownership group which owns the Oklahoma City (OKC) Thunder, was a student at Cairo University during the early 1980s. At that time he was introduced into the community by his father's business associate (real … [Read more...]
Halliburton Gets $2 Billion Contract For Florida “Cardboard Condos”
Nearly two years in development, the new product, officially known as the Emergency Living Device, Experimental, Regular Length, Yard (ELDERLY), is a response to the 2014 privatization of the Social Security program and the 2016 stock … [Read more...]
After Bathtub Accident, O’Donnell Changes Position
O'Donnell's new position, said to be one of several she assumed during Saturday's "Eureka Moment", is that a situation such as hers in now acceptable: individuals who are either showering or bathing while thinking about policy issues or … [Read more...]
On Homeland Security, Or, We Visit A Terrorist Gathering Place
I can't give away too many details, for security reasons, but I can tell you that this particular distribution center is located about three miles from the Boeing Company's Renton, Washington, manufacturing site. (The assembly lines for the … [Read more...]
Lee Surrenders To Grant, Obama Retains Slavery
Ohio Congressman Zebidiah Kucinich summed up the anger from the left: "We won the war, for God's sakes, which is a mandate if I ever saw one, and yet the first thing the President orders when putting together surrender terms is to take the … [Read more...]
Republicans Intervene In Traffic Accident, Call Settlement “Shakedown”
The facts of the case are as follows: Ms. Maya Normousbutt, a resident of Brighton, was taking her kids to the corn maze and haunted house at Murray Farms, also located in Brighton, when her parked vehicle was struck by another car driven … [Read more...]
At Black Tie Ceremony, Feith Passes Torch To Barton
Respect to your great place! and let the devil Be sometime honour'd for his burning throne. -- Duke Vincentio, from William Shakespeare's "Measure for Measure". There are probably some of you who are thinking: "That Feith name is familiar, … [Read more...]
GOTV-time Comedy
I'm a frequent reader and I haven't posted much, but I am producing a political comedy show election weekend called "Schmolitics"...thought it might be of interest to people after their day of GOTV. Thanks >If you're ready for the … [Read more...]